Someone jokes

Why does an orphan go to church?

So it has someone to call father.

Why do orphans love going to church?

Because they can call someone "father."

I saw someone who was about to jump off a bridge. They were wearing a Nike "JUST DO IT" shirt.

When someone falls, you say to them, "I remember when I started to learn to walk."

To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you... You have my Word.

It would be a miracle if someone figured out the length of your hairline.

Where do you take someone who’s been injured in a peek-a-boo accident?

To the I.C.U.

Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?

Mum: See the four birds over there?

Kid: Huh, wait a minute.

Mum: A drunk person would see eight.

Kid: Mum, but there is only two.

Why do orphans go to church?

Why?

To finally call someone "father."

Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart.

I made sure it didn't outsmart me.

If you execute someone in ventricular fibrillation in the electric chair, will they come back to life once and then die?

When someone calls you, say "Welcome to Joe's Pizza Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce."

Why do orphans like being criminals?

Because then someone actually wants them.

Why did an orphan have s**? To have someone to call daddy.

What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch?

An ingestigation.

Why are the same Sally jokes told over and over again?

Because how can you tell jokes about someone who's dead?

Hey, I’m George, and this is how to figure out if someone is a psychopath.

Go into someone’s search history, and find “Cuphead ship fanfic”.

Hey George, why do you have Russia x America countryhumans?

Every time someone calls me fat I get so depressed I cut myself...

A piece of cake.

My friends think I'm bipolar. I threw a pencil case at someone and I walked out, walked back in 2 seconds later and I was sunshines and rainbows.

What is it called when a gay guy punches someone?

Fruit punch.