Someone jokes
If I had a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d still only have five cents.
Orphan: Help, I'm lost.
Someone: Wears your parents.
Orphan: >:(
Someone: Didn’t we already meet somewhere?
Me: Yeah. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.
What do you call someone who is in an airplane crash who was a 2006 Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes?
Josef Vasicek.
Hi, people. I really need a friend. Can someone please be my friend? Say in comments if you will.
Memes
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
911.
911 who?
You said you would never forget.
Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."
Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"
Someone: . . .
Kindly yeet someone!
What would an emo say to someone to make them join the EMO side?
A: Go kill yourself!
What do you call an orphan who likes football?
Because someone will actually give him something.
What do you call someone with no nose and no body?
Nobody knows.
What did Hermione say when she pantsed someone?
"Wow, Harry!"
What do you call someone with a big butt?
The Thightanic!
What do you call someone who’s blond, beautiful, and listens to what you’re saying, but only hears what they want?
Womxn
Why does the orphan go to church? He needs someone to call father.
So there is someone who doesn't know what an armadillo is.
He then sees one. He asks it a question, "What are you?"
The armadillo replies, "Armadillo."
The person says: "What's a dilo?"
What do you call someone who has sex with foals, calves, and lambs? A Quadrupedophile.
Teacher: "If you're dumb, stand up."
Nobody stands up.
After some waiting, the teacher says, "Really? No one? There must be someone."
Little Johnny stands up.
"Oh, so you think you're dumb, Johnny?"
"Nah, I just feel bad that you're standing alone."
Why do orphans go to church?
Why?
To finally call someone "father."
Why do orphans come to me?
'Cause they have someone to call "father."