Someone jokes
Someone asked me, "What are them scars on your arm?" I thought I was playing a violin.
What do a bullet and a police officer have in common?
When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.
My sister was at Sixth Street and someone stepped on her toes and she bled, so she called the police! XD
My dad told me a story today. His mom, my grandma, said if a bird gets in your house, someone will die.
That day, a hummingbird got in his UPS truck, and that’s the day he found out that my grandma had cancer. 😭😭😭😭😭 6 weeks later, she died. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Like this post to give someone you hate bad luck.
When someone asks you why you went bald, say it wasn't a choice. It just happened.
Thomas Montgomery would eat his fillet of fish in bed every night. He had fillet of fish bedding and everything. His roommates always asked him, "Why are you eating your fillet of fish in bed?" He wouldn't reply.
His family took him to the best psychologist in the field. Thomas continued emptying his bank account on fillet of fish to eat in bed. His friend said one day, took a picture of Thomas and told him to say cheese. They laughed and went there separate ways. Then in bed that night, Thomas kept on thinking to himself, "I never said cheese before someone snapped my picture." He repeated it again. The next day he thanked his friend, "Fillet in him feel better."
Tell someone to look in their shirt and spell attic. Hehe.
Orphans want girlfriends to call someone "Mommy."
Why should you lose your virginity to an autistic person?
Because virginity needs to be lost with someone special.
One day in Roblox, someone was arguing with me, and they asked me my age. "18." They said that they were twenty-two.
Me: "If you're so smart, what's the largest daycare game on Roblox?"
Him: "Yo Hair," he said. Then he left the game, and I said, "That is so messed up. Actually, that's bullcrap."
Note to all moms of teens, keep a dog. That way, someone is excited to see you!
Someone fucked a member of BTS.
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
Someone who COUNTS BARS all day!
If I smiled one centimeter each time I watched someone I hated die, I'd look like the Cheshire Cat.
Is it bad to hit an orphan?
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Well... I mean, they could go to church and try to gather that someone hit them.
1. Your face is so ugly, I thought it was deformed. It probably was anyways.
2. Even if Donald Trump had time to build a wall, it was probably so you won't squish us with your fatass.
If someone says your face is deformed, just say that's what happens when I look at you.
Welcome.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because someone booted her in the face. 🤣🤣
Sally has no arms. She fell off the swing. Why? Someone threw a fridge at her. AAHAHAAAHHAHAH!
Guys, don’t let nobody hurt you with words.
Like someone once said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”