Orphan: Help, I'm lost.
Someone: Wears your parents.
Orphan: >:(
Someone Jokes
I made an advent calendar for a Jehovah’s Witness.
Behind every door someone tells you to fuck off.
What did Hermione say when she pantsed someone?
"Wow, Harry!"
What do you call someone who is in an airplane crash who was a 2006 Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes?
Josef Vasicek.
Someone: Didn’t we already meet somewhere?
Me: Yeah. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.
Why do orphans come to me?
'Cause they have someone to call "father."
I'm as bored as heck, someone wanna chat?
I was going to join the debating team.
... but someone talked me out of it.
What do you say when you hear someone tripping over at night?
Goddammit, Jamal!
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
Someone who COUNTS BARS all day!
can someone please tell what happened?
If someone has a hyperfixation with drawing and playing, does that mean they are on the "artism" spectrum?
My middle name is Brian. I was so proud of being able to spell my full name till someone pointed out "Johnny Brain Walker" was incorrect.
Where do you take someone who’s been injured in a peek-a-boo accident?
To the I.C.U.
You used to be someone’s sunshine, but sorry, the climate changed. 😂😂😂😂
My mom: Your life could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer.
Me: I wish I were Tracy Latimer, then someone would kill me.
You are playing as Ukraine in Military Tycoon, and then someone kills you. You see who killed you in nuke revenge, and it says "Putinmoserfucer2342."
Someone booted Stephen Hawking offline. Maybe next time he will stand for the pledge/anthem.
Some babies may be delivered via stork, but some bigger babies are gonna need a crane.
As the car crashed, someone said, "I see a light!"
