Someone jokes
Some babies may be delivered via stork, but some bigger babies are gonna need a crane.
Someone raped my ear, now I have hearing aids.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone pulled his ethernet cable (he died of a blue screen)!
Q: Why did the vegetable cross the road?
A: 'Cause someone let go of the handle bars.
If you push someone that's bullying, if you kill someone that's murder, if there is no evidence it's nothing.
Tell someone to say "alpha" and then "kenny one". Tell them to say it very fast. Tell them it sounded like they said, "I'll fuck anyone!"
Sans, you lazybones, get up and do something.
Sans: I am doing something.
Papyrus: Oh yeah, what?
Sans: Thinking up a skele-ton of jokes.
Papyrus: SANSSSsSsSsSssSsSSsSsSsSSsSSsSsSsS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will end you.
Sans: What, does someone not have a funny bone? Oh wait, do you have a bone to pick with me? I have 206.
How do you circumcise someone from Alabama?
Kick his sister's jaw.
"That's not my age; it's just not true.
My heart is young; the time just flew.
I'm staring at this strange old face, and someone else is in my space."
I told my friend that someone accused him of blowing dead bears. I said I defended him by responding that I saw 1 get up and walk away.
When your friend gets involved with someone, it affects the friendship. Whenever a friend of mine has a new girlfriend, we should say I looked like the person you used to know, but I've been modified to survive in this relationship. If we have an argument and she's there, I might disagree with you; I'd rather continue to see her naked.
What is sex? You put a sex person in someone’s sex.
Looks like someone's funny bone's broken!
Do you know a way to really freak out someone that works at a car dealership?
You say, "Tell me if you can hear me," then get in the trunk and start screaming.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone unplugged the WiFi router.
When someone asks you for a beef (fight), just say you're a vegetarian.
what do you call a lazy gay?
someone who comes straight out of the closet, and goes straight to the couch.
Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart.
I made sure it didn't outsmart me.
Saturn was so loved, someone put a ring on him.
Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says, "I have some good news and bad news."
So the patient says, "What is the bad news?" the Doctor replies, "I have had to amputate both your legs." So the patient says, "Well, what is the good news?" The Doctor replies, "I have found someone to buy your slippers."