Someone jokes
If I had a coin for every time someone said, "If I had a coin," I'd still be living paycheck to paycheck.
What do you say after you throw an egg at someone? "Yolks on you!"
A boy went to a costume party with a girl on his back. Someone asked him what he was supposed to be. He answered, "A turtle."
"Then why do you have a girl on your back?" the guy asked again.
The boy answered, "It's Michelle."
I made someone a PB and J sandwich... they died.
Why did the orphans like church so much?
So they had someone to call father...
My sister was at Sixth Street and someone stepped on her toes and she bled, so she called the police! XD
Why do orphans go to church?
So they have someone to call father.
It looks like your face was lit on fire and someone tried to extinguish it with a hammer!
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."
"Why couldn’t she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."
"Knock knock." "Who’s there?" "Not Susie, she’s still on the ground."
"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."
"Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."
"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."
How do you know someone is fucking dumb?
They put jokes that have been used several times already.
Some babies may be delivered via stork, but some bigger babies are gonna need a crane.
Someone raped my ear, now I have hearing aids.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone pulled his ethernet cable (he died of a blue screen)!
Q: Why did the vegetable cross the road?
A: 'Cause someone let go of the handle bars.
If you push someone that's bullying, if you kill someone that's murder, if there is no evidence it's nothing.
Tell someone to say "alpha" and then "kenny one". Tell them to say it very fast. Tell them it sounded like they said, "I'll fuck anyone!"
Sans, you lazybones, get up and do something.
Sans: I am doing something.
Papyrus: Oh yeah, what?
Sans: Thinking up a skele-ton of jokes.
Papyrus: SANSSSsSsSsSssSsSSsSsSsSSsSSsSsSsS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will end you.
Sans: What, does someone not have a funny bone? Oh wait, do you have a bone to pick with me? I have 206.
How do you circumcise someone from Alabama?
Kick his sister's jaw.
"That's not my age; it's just not true.
My heart is young; the time just flew.
I'm staring at this strange old face, and someone else is in my space."
I told my friend that someone accused him of blowing dead bears. I said I defended him by responding that I saw 1 get up and walk away.