What's similar between McDonald's and priests?
They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
What do a girl and a bar have in common?
A- Liquor in the front, poker in the back!
What did Saskia say to Brandon?
Saskia: "Can you rape me like you did Sydney?"
What did the Canadian say when a guy shot his beaver?
"It is ok, I forgive you."
modern feminism.
A gay guy asked me for directions, so I told him to go straight.
Normal Europe: Oh no, I lost my iPhone!
Amish: Oh no, I lost my potato!
I’ve two dogs and two cats, and they are all Democrats. They want a handout everyday.
What kind of file turns a 5mm hole into a 3cm hole?
A pedo-file.
Where's a cannibal's favorite place to eat?
Chili's, because they got them baby back ribs.
What do you call a convict in prison for touching little girls? A boy named Brandon.
What’s the difference between a loser and a paper?
A girl actually dates the paper.
Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?
What do you call a chill transgender?
Fictional.
Wanna hear a clean one?
Old man takes a bath with bubbles.
Wanna hear a dirty one?
Bubbles is the 14 year old next door.
What’s the difference between an Englishman and a unicorn?
Nothing.
A blind guy walks into a bar.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the gay guy's house. Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.
Pedophile: You dropped your candy.
Girl: Thanks!
Pedophile stares as she slowly bends over to pick up her candy.
Pedophile: It looks a bit dirty, do you wanna come back to my house and get a new one?
Girl: How far is your house?
Pedophile: It's that white one right over there.
Girl: You mean that van next to a dumpster?
Pedophile: Yep, it's that one.
Girl:.... Sure! :P
Audience:.........Dumbass girl.
The lady was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale responded with, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
