Society jokes
What does a homeless man call his mother?
Useless.
Why did the guy like retarded jokes? Because he was a retard himself.
Why did the orphan go to church?
So he gets to call someone father.
Man: I know how to please a woman.
Woman: Then please leave me alone, you ugly two-faced hypocrite!
Man: I want to give myself to you.
Woman: Sorry, I don’t like ugly peasants.
Man: Your hair color is fabulous.
Woman: I hate your hair color, though.
Man: You look like a dream.
Woman: Then open your ugly eyes and stop sleeping, hypocrite!
Man: I can tell that you want me.
Woman: Yes, I want you dead.
R.I.P.
Man: Hey, baby, what’s your sign?
Woman: F*** you, pedophile!
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services for pedophiles.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down, you little peasant.
Man: What’s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? Every other woman I see looks ugly. Bleuch!
Woman: How dare you!
Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore. I saw you playing with boxes in the store room and saying "I AM KING OF THE WORLD!"
Good afternoon. My name is Russell, and I am a wilderness explorer of Tribe 54, Sweat Lodge 12. Are you in need of any assistance today, sir?
Yesterday, I saw an advert with a random woman dancing, and someone said that they were beautiful.
And then I said, "Except the fat people." And then I got sent to my room for saying that.
A man gets arrested after writing "MORBID JOKES COMING OUT THIS TIME NEXT YEAR!" and "I'm gay!"
Why do brides wear white?
So they match the kitchen appliances.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a horse?
An animal abuse warrant.
Jeff, did you hear they're making a film about Jimmy Savile? It’s a very touchy subject.
Yeah, I did, Gary, but did you hear the reviews on the Bill Cosby film? People said it was so boring it put them to sleep.
If you want to punch someone, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Black people run fast.
People generalize others too much.
Make America hate again.
How do you know if an Asian has broken into your house?
Your dog is gone. ;)
What is Riley Brown's favorite game? Tipping over people in wheelchairs.
Why are orphans called orphans?
'Cause they're gay.
Teacher: *Reads mythological story about a cyclops*
Me: Does he have one eye cause he's from an incestual family in Alabama?
A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"
And the women look at him as if they have never seen a man walk into a bar before.
I guess age is just a number, but in your boyfriend's case, a personal preference.