Society jokes
How many dicks can fit inside of a hooker? I don't know, ask your wife.
How many hookers fit in a Cadillac?
About 4 in the trunk if you stack 'em right.
How many dead hookers does it take to change a light bulb?
Definitely not 13, because my basement is still dark.
Why did my dad cross the road?
To get to the nearest building so he wouldn't die in the crippling smoke of the most terrifying and only terrorist attack on American soil.
Grandma: You guy's generation is on too much technology.
Kid: Well, you're the ones that raised us.
Other family members: ...
We don't joke about orphans unless they have family. Then we assassinate the family.
A depressed kid gave me a high five. I left him hanging.
What's the difference between an orgy and mass suicide?
When exactly my cult members drink the Kool-Aid.
The orphan wanted to call home sick, but there was no one.
The orphan went to school to have food, but there was no money in his account.
I told a crying kid to wipe his tears and come back smiling.
He never came back the next day, says the local news.
Stop hating on pedophiles. At least they're good babysitters.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they have no home to run to.
Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."
The more suicidal people there are, the less suicidal people there are... Woah!
Me: I will f**k ur mom.
Orphan: I don't have one.
Me: ......
Why can’t the orphan get any of the new iPhones?
'Cause none of them have a home button.
What did the police say on the TV during 9/11?
"Call 911!"
You think on a airplane when a muslim guy gets on, people look at him and think... "Aw, fuck."
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
This is not a joke. Have you ever thought about it? You’re an emo while wearing black. So what if you are black? Does that mean you’re an emo because you are black and emos wear black? ;)