Soap jokes

How do rappers keep themselves clean?

They drop SOAP BARS.

What's the worst thing to hear in a prison shower?

"Drop the soap, we've got you surrounded."

If you drop soap on the floor, is the floor clean, or is the soap dirty?

I have had an obsession with soap. Don’t worry, I am all clean now!

So, some thieves robbed me the other day. They took everything I owned, except for the soap, towels, and deodorant.

Dirty bastards.

What's long, hard, and slimy?

A bar of soap.

What is the difference between a grandmother and a maid?

One is hope and the other is soap.

Q: What do you call a clean idiot? A: Soap on a Dope.

Shup up, transparent hairline. Look like you got splashed by some clear soap.

Singing in the shower is fun, until you get soap in your mouth.

Then it's a soap opera.

My version of the Roses are Red Poem in MW3:

I thought Soap could trust you. And so did I too. So WHY IN BLOODY HELL DOES MAKAROV KNOW YOU?!

If a deaf kid swears in sign language, does his mom wash his hands with soap?

1. You can't wash your eyes with soap.

2. You can't count your hair.

3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out.

4. You just tried number three.

5. When you tried number 3, you realized it was possible, only you look like a dog.

6. You're smiling right now because you realized you were fooled.

7. You skipped number 5.

8. You just checked if there was a number 5.

9. This is not my joke; all credit goes to Steps.

Things you never want to do in jail:

- Never piss off an inmate. - Don’t start fights with the cops. - Don’t drop the soap. - Don’t run away from the cops.

10 Fun Facts.

1. You can't wash your eyes with soap. 2. You can't count your hair. 3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out. 4. You just tried number 3. 5. When you did number 3, you realized it's possible, only you look like a dog. 6. You're smiling right now because you were fooled. 7. You skipped number 5. 8. You just checked to see if there is a number 5. 9. Share this with your friends to have some fun too :-)

What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?

One's got hope in her soul, the other's got soap in her hole.