Skydiving jokes
Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?
Because it realized it had a better chance of survival without them.
Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?
Because it was made by the same company that made their life decisions.
What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver?
A golfer goes *whack* "darn" and a skydiver goes "darn" *whack.*
Why did the parachute refuse to open?
Because it had a "fatal attraction" to the ground.
The plane crashed. There are 5 seats in Bordeaux and usually 4 parachute seats.
The first song goes: "I am Cristiano Ronaldo, the best player in the world, so fly with the first helmet."
One of Ivanka Trump's former supporters said: "I was the US President's teacher." And take an umbrella and fly.
Former US Secretary of State Donald Trump said: "I am the President of the United States. I am the president of the United States of America, not responsible to the people. Design our package and jump."
"I'm glad," said the next passenger, Popstag, as he approached. Then the boy explained: "I still can't see anyone's problem. The President of the United States is in my bag..."
You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Why did the skydiver bring a backup parachute?
In case the first one wanted to "cut ties" with them mid-air.
Why did the parachute break up with the skydiver?
Because it was tired of being taken for granted every time things fell apart.
My son always said he wanted to skydive, so we went on a plane, and mid-flight, we had to jump out. The only issue is we were on a commercial flight to Arizona.
A skeleton goes sky diving. Doesn't come back in one piece.
What do you call a cow that skydives without a parachute?
Ground beef.
Yo mama's so fat that when she went sky diving, she caused another global extinction.
I took my friend skydiving once, and he jumped out of the plane without a parachute. Then I remembered he was emo.
Why can't an emo person be in charge of sky diving?
He won't deploy the parachute.
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving; you need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
If at first you don't succeed, oh well, so much for skydiving.
How does a blind person know when a skydive has finished?
The dog lead went slack.
