Size jokes

You're so fat, when you fall, the sidewalk cracks.

Your mom is so fat, when she swam in the sea, Wales came up to her and said, "We are family, even now you’re fatter than me."

Your mom is so fat, it takes a year to turn around.

Best thing ever right here.

So, there is this app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12-15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12-15 inches longer.

Why can't orphans go big? When you go big, it's considered family size.

If you have a girlfriend/crush that's shorter than you, go up to her and say, "You're short, lemme add some inches."

I thought the Sahara was the largest desert until I saw your forehead.

Your momma is so fat, when she chose a yellow shirt when she was on a run, the kids ran after her because they thought they missed the bus.

Yo mamma so fat that she like that ocean, we haven't even explored 5% of her yet.

Your mamma is so fat that she has a gravitational pull.

Yo momma so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the floor cracked up.

Your mom uses the equator as a belt.

Yo momma so fat not even Dora could explore her.

Your mom was so fat that she couldn't have a man and couldn't go through the door.

I'M JOKING, DON'T GET MAD!

I saw my midget neighbor at a bus stop.

"Jump in, I'll give you a lift home," I said.

"Bugger off!" he shouted back.

"What an ungrateful little man," I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.

My sister said she was as fat as a coconut, so I threw one at her and she was right.

You ever had sex with a woman that is so fat, it counted as a threesome?

What’s 8 inches and women scream when they see it?

A puppy, you dirty monkey!

Biggest balls?

What's big and black?

My balls.