Being an orphan isn't all bad. On the bright side, all your snacks are family-sized.
Size Jokes
Your forehead is so big, I bet your dreams are in IMAX.
Your forehead is so big that your name is Humpty Dumpty, the big forehead!
A big guy told the small guy, "Do you want a little pill because you look ill, or should I smash you?"
A guy dies and finds himself in Hell. Despondent, he sits on the ground and weeps uncontrollably.
Demon: "Why so sad, my friend?"
Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"
Demon: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?"
Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."
Demon: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do, is drink. Whiskey, tequila, vodka, beer... We drink till we throw up and then drink some more."
Guy: "Gee, that sounds great!"
Demon: "You a smoker?"
Guy: "You better believe it."
Demon: "Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our fucking lungs out. If you get cancer, it's ok, you're already dead!"
Guy: "Golly."
Demon: "I bet you like to gamble."
Guy: "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do."
Demon: "Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it."
Guy: "Wow."
Demon: "You like to do drugs?"
Guy: "Well, I love to do drugs. You don't mean..."
Demon: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a joint the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it's ok... You're already dead!"
Guy: "Neat! I never realized hell was such a swingin' place!"
Demon: "You gay?"
Guy: "Uh, no."
Demon: "Ohhh... You're gonna hate Fridays...."
Your mama's so fat, when she grew an inch, she pushed the Earth down.
Yo momma's so fat, when she gets in a monster truck, it turns into a lowrider.
1, 2, 3, A, B, C, D, and there's a D in it and there's also a 3. That's how long your D is!
Yo momma so fat, Santa said, "Ho, ho, ho, I've gotta go!"
You're as tall as a giraffe.
Well, that's why you look like a baked bean!
Why is Chloe's forehead so big? Because her forehead is king-size.
I have the biggest balls; you have wobbles.
A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.
Yo mama so fat, when she jumped in the ocean, the whales said, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"
Why does Donald Trump love little boys?
Because his hands look massive when he’s holding their tiny little cocks.
Brinnia so fat when she stepped on a scale, it said, "I need a bigger one."
Why do midgets run on balls?
Because the grass tickles them.
Your forehead is so big, I took a picture of it last Christmas, and it’s still printing.
Your mom is so fat that she can't get internet because she is worldwide.
Yo mama so fat, when she was telling me her weight, I thought she was telling me her number.
