New Sitting Jokes - Page 3 - Worst Jokes Ever

yo moma so fat that when she sits she makes an 7.4 earthquake.

this guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to god please let me out it is too cold in here god is all confused there is a big fire in there the guy answers yes there is but you cannot get near it all the bishops cardinals and priests are sitting around it

If a physically handicapped gay white male is sitting on the toilet in the handicapped stall and if you are a gay white male that is well-endowed that is not physically handicapped and if you want the physically handicapped gay white male who is sitting on the toilet in the handicapped stall to suck your dick what do you do to convince him to suck your dick if you have a hard on and your horny as hell? put $ 25 00 under the handicapped stall before you put dick under the handicapped stall 😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 😁 😁 😁😁 😁 😁 😁 😁 😁 😁 😁 😁 💸 💸 💸 💸 💸 💸 💸 💸 💸 💸 💸

Son: Dad, I had sex for the first time.

Dad: Would you like to talk about it?

Son: Sure.

Dad: Sit down and let's talk about it.

Son: I can't, my butt hurts.

A homeless man sits in front of a Home Depot. A man walking out of the store hands him some money and asks, "Why are you in front of the Home Depot?" And the man says, "Isn't it obvious? Hoping somebody accidentally drops the house they just bought."

you’re so fat

that when u sit on the toilet

it says

“A B C D E F G, get ur butt off of me”

Yo mamma so fat when she tried to sit down the chair ran away

"My wife is so crazy" said Beatem's McSmasher. "Why?" asked his buddy Don Caretomarch "She's sitting on the front verandah packing my shit in boxes!" "You getting kicked out bro?" "Yeah, all I did was break every plate in the house over her head. Some people have no sense of humor" "Is she one of them woke bitches?"

Teacher on school bus everybody sit down now the bus is about to start Ben: I’m not going to sit down I don’t want to, Teacher: you have to or else u have to get off the bus, Teacher: “stands up” Ben: then u should get off the bus cause ur not sitting.

*Me walk into the nail salon* Hi I'm here for my 3:45 appointment *nail tech* ok sweety come and sit down *Me sits down in the chair* *nail tech* you want long nail short nail? Um, long nail. You want boyfriend?!! Yes, ma'am. Ok, let me work magic. ok. *gives me short nail* bro I asked for long nail. But you said bf but u look lesbian* walks out without paying* *nail tech gives money to a customer* there u win. *customer* I told u she would

It was the final examination for an introductory English course at the UW. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 800 students in the class! The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail. 1/2 hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the professor for an exam booklet.

„You’re not going to have time to finish this,“ the professor said, as he handed the student a booklet. „Yes I will,“ replied the student. He then took a seat and began writing.

After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the students filed up and handed them in. All except the late student, who continued writing.

1/2 hour later, the last student came up to the professor who was sitting at his desk preparing for his next class. He attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets already there.

„No you don’t, I’m not going to accept that. It’s late.“ The student looked incredulous and angry. „Do you know who I am?“

„No, as a matter of fact I don’t,“ replied the professor with an air of sarcasm in his voice. „Do you know who I am?“ the student asked again. „No, and I don’t care,“ replied the professor with an air of superiority. „Good,“ replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and ran out of the room.

Your mum is so fat when she was sitting on a scale the number couldnt even fit in the scale and came shooting out

You know you’re getting fat when you sit in the bath and the water in the bath rises.

My wife is so fat! She wears high heels she strikes oil. When she sits around the house she really sits around the house. Everytime she turns around it's her birthday.

I was sitting at a bench at the park and saw a lady she asked which kid is mine and I responded I haven't decided yet

Your mama so fat that when she sits around the house, she literally sits around the house.

i was sitting in class and the teacher said he wasn't disapointed in me and my best friend but not so much in me. I looked at my best friend and said "I'm a disapointment to the teacher too"