Sick jokes
A doctor fell into a well and broke his collarbone.
The doctor should attend the sick and leave the well alone!
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you cannot helium, you have to curium. If you cannot curium, you have to barium!
Why did Stephen Hawking's wife leave him? She was sick of buying triple A batteries.
Face-Timing My Girlfriend:
"Hey girl! Are you a veterinarian? Because these puppies are sick!" *shows muscle*
What do bubbles get when they’re sick?
The suds.
Why did the alligator see a crocodile?
Because it ate too many humans, and he was sick.
Why is a sick person and California similar? They tend to burn up.
I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick. She said, "Shut the fuck up and keep digging!"
Q: How can you tell if a vampire is sick?
A: By how much he's coffin.
What kind of nut hates baseball? A nut that’s sick.
Police officers hope you’re a criminal.
Doctors hope you get sick.
Mechanics hope you get car troubles.
But only thieves wish you prosperity.
Weird?
Six one.
Where do sick boats go? The dock!
Why did the rapper become a plumber?
Because he wanted to lay down some SICK PIPES!
If you were driving when all of a sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?
The brakes, you sick bastard.
I'm 34 and I went on a date with my 19 year old girlfriend. I got heckled with "you're a paedophile!" and "you sick F...!" Completely ruined our 10th anniversary!
Q: What do bloods eat when they get sick?
A: Chicken noodle suwoop.
CEO Intrepid entrepreneur born in 1964, Jeffrey, Jeffrey Bezos.
Repeat, come on Jeffrey, you can do it, pave the way, put your back into it, tell us why, show us how, look at where you came from, look at you now.
Zuckerberg and Gates and Musk, they're the anchors, can make and sick it up there with drink their blood, come on Jeff get it! Dododoododododod
I'm American, and I'm sick of people saying America is "the stupidest country in the world." Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world.
So what is the difference between a real doctor and a doctor of philosophy?
One cures the sick and the other makes them sick!