Short jokes

I think I need to kiss your butt.

What has 148 teeth and🥴🥴 holding back a monster? My zipper.

We were versing year 8 at footy, and they were mostly black, so I told my white friend to WATCH OUT!!!

"Yo mama so fat, she thought Saturn was deez nuts."

What do you call Josh in a room...

Gay.

Why did the orphan cry to the teacher? Because they have no one else.

Never mind if I told you, it would go straight through your head.

"Beast Boy Four"

Yo, hairline is a distraction to my barber because he wanna fix it so bad (because of how bad it looks).

"History's repeating itself. WWIII is coming, and the second Russia nukes the U.S., they're all getting fucked."

Being in a band without a pencil is as easy as reading snare drum music.

You so fat you got thrown out the window, but the window threw you back inside.

What does a waiter in a Chinese restaurant call a customer that won't leave a tip? A "plick."

My dad said not to touch this thingy called a gun, but I looked down that pole and pressed that thing, and now I'm in heaven.

My newly wed wife is a porn star. She would probably kill me if she found out.

The highest praise my wife gave to me was when she told me, "The best feminine attribute on your body as a woman would be your p🍆nis." 🥰

Some people could say that the sky was falling that day,

one second they saw the sun and the next they saw heaven.

How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of the crime?

I think they just hacked the "chrime."

You are so ugly, when you went to a haunted house, you came back with a job application.

You are so ugly when you gave birth to your baby, you gave it carpet burn.

Mohamed Atta would probably be pretty mad at these posts.