Q:What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A:How do you breathe through that little thing?
What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight?
Alien vs Predator.
Of a midget walks up to you and tells you your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment....
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles' elbow.
Smaller babies may be delivered by a stork, But bigger ones need a crane.
Why did the tomato blush? -- Because it saw the salad dressing.
What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? -- People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooo.
Where did the cat go when it lost it's tail? -- To the retail store!
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? -- A stick.
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? -- "Bison."
What do you call an athlete who injured 75% of his spine?
A quarterback
Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? -- It was a grave mistake.
What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat miner.
Who's the best at musical chairs?
Stephen Hawking
I got a new pair of gloves today, but they're both 'lefts' which, on one hand, is great, but on the other, it's just not right.
i fell from the stairs the other day. it really "got me down".
Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.
What do you call the space inbetween Kim Kardashians breasts.
Silicon valley.
I wasn't staring at you I was trying to figure out if that's your forehead or the moon
What concert costs 45 cents? -- 50 Cent feat. Nickelback.
