Short jokes
What did the constipated bum say to the other bum?
Piss don't s**t on me!
"Nancy be like I sucked my way to the top."
What mental disorder do all Mexicans have?
Borderline Personality Disorder.
What does a bungee jumper and a homosexual have in common?
When the rubber snaps, they both end up in the shit! 💩
Q. What's a bulimic's favorite movie?
A. The Purge.
A: It’s very delicious! Great! Fantastic!
B: Thank you.
A: People don’t speak when they eat delicious foods!
What do you get when you cross a road with a stalker?
Raped.
Ever heard of the show "Naked and Afraid"? That's what I call hide-and-seek with my uncle.
Can you f**k out of here?
Karen says:
Why did the CSI team have to go to the "Purple Rain" shoot?
Because they had to dust for Prince! hahaha
Why did the gym close down? -- It just didn't work out.
What is the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani primary school?
I don't know... I just fly the drone.
When are you from Alabama? You know!!! 🐩
The other day my brother hit me. I yelled for mom. No one responded.
My mom said, "Take out the trash," and I said, "Okay." The next day she asked, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "In line to get crushed."
According to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.
Shush, you schmuck! Please read!
If depression is going to be my girlfriend, will she leave me?
Me: I saw your parents yesterday.
Orphan girl: Where?
Me: The coffin was still open.
Why do cat orphans watch sci-fi movies?
Because they won't understand what the mother ship is.