What do you call a dog with no legs? -- Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
Short Jokes
Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A: How do you breathe through that little thing?
What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight?
Alien vs Predator.
If a midget walks up to you and tells you your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles' elbow.
Smaller babies may be delivered by a stork, but bigger ones need a crane.
Why did the tomato blush? -- Because it saw the salad dressing.
What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? -- People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooo.
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? -- "Bison."
Where did the cat go when it lost its tail? -- To the retail store!
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? -- A stick.
What do you call an athlete who injured 75% of his spine?
A quarterback.
Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? -- It was a grave mistake.
What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat miner.
Who's the best at musical chairs?
Stephen Hawking.
I got a new pair of gloves today, but they're both 'lefts,' which, on one hand, is great, but on the other, it's just not right.
I fell from the stairs the other day. It really "got me down."
According to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.
What do you call the space in between Kim Kardashian's breasts?
Silicon Valley.
What concert costs 45 cents? -- 50 Cent feat. Nickelback.
