Short jokes

Short jokes

Trash

I went to take out the trash, could not find you, so I went back in. The next day I found you.

Orphanage

Peter: Curses!

Jacob: Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

Peter: *Crying*

Jacob: Why are you crying?

Jacob: Whatever. *Leaves orphanage*

Squirrel

How come Mr. Squirrel watches porn sometimes?

Sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't.

Kid

I got a GTR yesterday, now my kids say, "GTR we there yet?"

Billboard

What stands on the side of the road and needs a lot of money to buy?

Billboard, did you think I was gonna say street walker?

Dad

My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.

I told him my dad never came back with it.

Straight

My mom said that being straight is good, but if you're straight, how do you walk? So I decided to be gay.

Air

Huh, I’m pregnant again. Must be something in the air.

Yeah, your legs.

Woman

What does a beaten woman do when she comes home from the hospital?

Dishes if she knows what's good for her health.