Short jokes
What would an emo say to someone to make them join the EMO side?
A: Go kill yourself!
What do you call a legless cow?
Handicapped and stupid and monke and food.
Why can’t blind people eat fish? Because it’s sea food.
Poop is yummy, fuck!
Queen
Today there was a line to punch me.
Yeah, that was the punch line.
What do youuuuuuuuuuu Oh f***, my mom is gonna kill me! My shit is stuck on the toilet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you get a new bed, you have more bedroom, but less bedroom.
Why does an orphan like The Beatles? Because it's family friendly.
Do you want to hear a cold joke?
Can't. It warmed up.
My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.
She said help, so I kicked her.
"Stand up for yourself! Oh, come on, walk it off."
Your mum eats cabbage.
What do you call an orphan who likes football?
Because someone will actually give him something.
A big guy told the small guy, "Do you want a little pill because you look ill, or should I smash you?"
The mom and dad left the child because they were famous and rich, like rich monkeys.
What’s red and goes 90 miles an hour?
It must be tiring to put makeup on two faces.
Your hairline looks like it was drawn onto your head.
Your hairline so bad that when your teacher puts you to sit in the front of the class, your hairline be all the way in the back.