Short jokes
When you hide in the girl's bathroom so the school shooter won't go in there: 😃
When you notice that the school shooter is female: 😟
My friend said she was tired of seeing me every day.
So I pushed her off the side of a cliff.
What do you call a Scottish Muslim with drug problems?
(Said in a Scottish accent) "Amaffmaheed."
Green beans, potato salad with the one that was in the fridge for me.
What did the fork say to the cake when he said, "I hope you get eaten?"
Fork off!
What can a duck eat for a snack? Saltine quackers!
"Gwen, this was a fake look in the comments!"
White people can't say the N-word, but at least they can say, "Thanks for the warning, officer," and "Hi, Dad."
What do you give a dog with a fever?
Mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog!
Want to hear a dad joke? Look in the mirror. You get the joke.
What’s an orphan's favorite movie?
Home Alone.
What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial abort!
What do you call a food fight that's been going on for years?
A war of nutrition.
I walk into my driveway. Stephen Hawking is on my roof.
Oh wait, never mind, he just fell.
Why can't the T-Rex cross the road?
Because he's extinct.
Why can't the T-Rex clap?
Because they're extinct!
What do you call Shroud when he is hurt?
ShrOWd.
Guess what, Shroud is back on wje, I don't know why, but he is...
There was a man. He took a right. He took another right. He took a last right. Why did he stop?
Look under...
Under where?
You just said underwear!
I drove my Chevy to the levy, but the levy was... Oh, CRAP!!!