Short jokes

Short jokes

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My father always used to say:

"What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger."

Until the accident.

What’s the difference between a fetus and a jar of pickles?

The pickles aren’t as tasty in a jar.

I dated a girl, and I didn’t know she was previously in an abusive relationship.

I thought she just REALLY hated high-fives.

Don't challenge Death to a pillow fight.

Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushion.

I just got my doctor's test results and I'm really upset about it. Turns out, I'm not gonna be a doctor.

Why shouldn’t you call people in China?

Because there are so many Wings and Wongs you might "wing" the wrong number.

I’ve always been a bit insecure about having thicker thighs.

Now I realize it allows me to fit more scars!

A dad tells his son, "Stop masturbating! If you do it too long, you will go blind."

The son replied, "Dad, I'm over here!"

If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.

If a blind person can’t see, then do they sleep?

They’re the night watchers while people who see sleep.