Short jokes
JFK and Abe Lincoln were some of the most open-minded presidents ever.
Them: What's on your arm?
Me: I'm training to breathe fire ;)
I’m going to open my own Mexican restaurant and call it boarder patrol.
Have you guys heard about the crazy shadow glitch in the game Sonic X? Just google "Sonic X Shadow."
Vote for Kris!
What do gingers miss most at a grate party?
The invitation.
Why do strippers never care about things?
Because the last time they gave a fuck, it was for $20 an hour.
What did the Twin Towers say to each other?
Sorry if that offended anyone.
“I guess we are going down together!”
Having homosexual parents must be terrible.
Either you have a double dosage of dad jokes or you are stuck in a cycle of "go ask your mom".
I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.
I’m a faux pa.
I went to a birthday party and told dad jokes.
The jokes didn't go over well. I was asked to leave the orphanage.
What separates bad jokes from dad jokes?
Condoms.
How did the hamburger know he needed new pants?
His buns were too tight.
I turned gay because my wife is too poor.
People think Kelly Clarkson shops at Wal-Mart because she's a sloppy redneck. No, it's because toddlers' pants are 75% off everyday!
What activity do nuns and whores have in common?
Answer: Genuflection.
Call me a worn-out sweater because I’m hanging on by a thread.
That’s about to become a rope around my neck.
My lesbian friends bought me a nice watch for my birthday. I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch."
What do you call an artist with a brown finger?
Picasshole.
What do you call it when a drunk cowgirl falls off her stool at the bar?
A hoedown.