Short jokes
My husband is mad that I have no sense of direction, so I packed up my stuff and left. Right?
Mmm, I'm Walter McWhitey, I'm from the newest Mexico.
When you find out your wife had a miscarriage,
So you start singing "It’s the best day ever!"
Why can't there be a gay disabled person?
Because a fruit can't be the same as a vegetable.
I am the Lorax. I speak for trees. I have the high ground, and I will cut off your knees.
Welcome to Dave’s orphanage. You make it, we take it.
Hickory dickory dock, the mouse ran up the clock.
He finally got up there, but a bird stole his co-.
In what city do you always lose your mum? Mumbai.
You do 1 line, you're not a crackhead. You drink 1 beer, you're not an alcoholic. But I murder 1 person...
What do you call a woman covered in mud? A dirty dishwasher.
Me: Which WiFi are we on?
Coworker: Should be floor 89.
Me: What about flight 104?
Coworker: Oh crap!
When you went to McDonald's and sat down, you were so fat, they said, "TBC."
Even Michael Jordan can't dunk from your hairline! 🤣🤣
Hi. Hhhh yrddd.
Random couple after their first night:
Husband: It was very tasty. 🥵
Wife: Aww, thanks.
Husband: Does anyone had taste it before?
Wife: ☠️
childhood skipped @iissoo.00 fr😵💫
Mum: Why are roses red?
Child: Stop, Mum, you never make jokes.
Mum: I made you.
Why is the number 10 always scared?
Answer: He’s in the middle of 9/11.
What has 4 wheels, no wings, and flies?
A dead cripple.
I beat up a failed musician until he started crying.
I thought a few hits would cheer him up!