Short jokes
You know what I hate about rape?
Keeping it a secret.
It's not rape if you're both crying.
I called the rape advice line last night. Turns out it's just for victims.
Which is redder: a baby or a red car? It depends on how the baby was killed!
What do dead babies and fruit have in common? Both can become smoothies with the help of a blender!
What is the difference between a dead baby and an orphan?
The dead baby happened on purpose while the orphan came out as an accident!
How can you make an Otter Pop become funny?
Take your shotgun and make an otter go "pop!"
Yo momma's so skinny that even Flat Stanley gets jealous!
Yo momma's so old that even scientists get baffled about where she lived before Earth was created.
Yo momma's so fat that she plays pool with planets.
Yo momma's so short that she fell off the toilet and broke her leg.
Yo momma's so fat that she got married to diabetes!
Yo Mamma's so ugly, she made One Direction turn into the other direction!
What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of your mouth, while the other one doesn't!
Bob: Siri, call 666!
*dialing noises*
Bob: Hello?
Bob's dad: Hi!
What is an orphan's excuse to leave a party?
"I'm gonna make like my parents and run."
What's the worst thing you can say to a widow?
"I'm sorry, I just had to."
1+1? Too hard.
Pool testing 123.
I like to drown in a pool.
I mean billiards...