Short jokes
The more I light my lighter, the lighter my lighter gets, until it's too light to light.
My girlfriend called me a "bot" in Fortnite, so I called her "sandwich maker 3000."
Why can't orphans have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy".
Why did the tiger lose at poker?
Answer: Because he was playing with a cheetah.
What type of meat do priests eat on Good Friday? Nun.
What do you call a retard with a boner? A slowpoke.
Curry.
What is wet going up and wet going down but doesn't move?
A mountain!
hehehehehehehehehehe
I feel weird to ask this, but can anyone guess my real name?
#Imbored
Q: How do basketball players stay cool during a game?
A: They stand near the fans! 🏀🏀😆😆
I only have sex with suicidal bitches because that pussy [is] limited edition.
If you try to fail and you succeed, which one did you do?
Once I said to an orphan, "What the 'F' means in 'orphan'?"
He replied, "There's no 'F'."
Me: "There's no family."
When they walk in and you're fucking... everyone at the morgue.
Why did Peter Parker take Gwen Stacy to an orthopedist?
Because her neck was killing her.
What do you call Hiroshima and Nagasaki?
The world's first microwaves.
Why did the police play baseball?
Why?
He wanted to play catch.
What do you call multiple quintuplets that look the same?
Naruto's mom.
What do you call a titan that can't swim?
TITANic
Why is America better than Japan at rapping?
Because we're better at dropping bombs.