Short jokes
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
Q: Why is marriage not a word?
It's a life sentence!
Q: What's the difference between a smart Russian and a unicorn?
A: Nothing, they're both fictional characters.
What's the fastest way to break up a bingo game in Baghdad?
You shout out, "B-52!"
What do you call an Iraqi who owns a camel and a goat?
Bisexual.
Why is it called scissoring and not lip-syncing?
Why was 10 scared?
Because it’s between 9/11.
We found out my grandpa is addicted to Viagra. No one is taking it harder than my dad.
Why do orphans love a room of mirrors?\n\nBecause they're surrounded by loved ones!
What’s one thing that comes up at the worst possible time and ruins your day?
A period.
What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One makes you believe in Heaven, the other makes you feel it.
What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One reads, the other breeds.
What's the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One is glowing and the other is blowing.
What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One to trust and the other to thrust.
What’s the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One kneels for salvation.
The other kneels with salivation.
How are my sister‘s legs and peanut butter alike?\n\nThey’re both smooth and easy to spread.
Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?
They'll fall right through his hands.
How do terrorists feed their children?
"Here comes the airplane!"
A house has a crack. A guy covers it with Plaster of Paris.\n\nHouse: "Where the heck am I supposed to do my shit now?"
What do Call of Duty and Al-Qaeda goals have in common?
You’ve got to get more than one down.