Short jokes
I wanted to make a joke about dandruff.
People are still scratching their heads over it.
What is a Jamaican's idea of a balanced diet?
A joint in each hand.
What's the difference between a sidewalk, a drug dealer, and a prostitute?
A: A sidewalk's crack doesn't leave an odor!
Why did the blonde snort artificial sweetener?
She thought it was diet coke.
Your mama's so fat, she needed NASA to make her ID card!
Q: Why are flat-earthers seen so many these days? A: Because one girl wore an earth-printed shirt.
It's okay if you miss while saying "Kobe" because he didn't make it either.
What does an orphan call a family photo?
A wishlist.
What was racing through people's minds during 9/11?
Probably a plane. (:
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they have no home to run to.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
No one.
No one who?
No one who?
Your hairline so bad even God says, "Aaaaahhhh!"
Your tits look heavy. Need help holding them up?
Free service for tit holding!
How does a pimp answer when asked why he chose his occupation?
Answer: He wanted a stable source of income.
What is the most unrealistic thing about Harry Potter?
A ginger with friends.
Q. What movie is a fat person most afraid of?
A. The Hunger Games.
What happens if you look in the mirror and say fentanyl 3 times? You'll see Derek Chauvin kneeling on George Floyd's neck.
What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors?
Surrounded by loved ones.
Who are the fastest readers on Earth?
The pilots flying the 9/11 planes. They went through 6 stories in 5 seconds.
If you could add one zero to any number for the rest of your life, what would it be and why?