Short jokes
Why can orphans stay out until whatever time?
Because their parents won't tell them when to come home.
Him: Hey girl, do you have pet insurance?
Her: Yes, why do you ask?
Him: Cuz I'm going to bang that pussy up!
What do you say to your sister when she's crying?
"Are you having a crisis because people say 67?"
I'm inventing a new glue and calling it "Six Seven"... it's a chemical brainrott.
Six Seven went to a barber shop. He asked the barber if he could have the "six seven" cut.
Yo momma so slutty, when she got a throat swab, the lab found eight different types of semen on her tonsils.
Why are the Twin Towers afraid of hot tubs?
Because of the jets.
Q. What do you call a hooker in a vegetative state? A. A thot incapable of thought.
Remember: Alcohol doesn't solve your problems, but neither does milk or water.
What do you call autistic people with guns? Special forces.
Why do vegans hate sex?
They don't want to say they had a meat in 'em.
What do peanut butter and a prostitute's legs have in common?
They’re both easy to spread.
What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers? Well hung.
What kind of paper towel do they use in special education classrooms?
Downey.
What do teenage girls and happy meals have in common?
They both come with a toy.
What’s the difference between masturbation and brain damage?
After a few strokes, there’s no going back.
What do a Rubik's Cube and a dick have in common?
The more you play with them, the harder they get.
Why do lesbians have the highest rate of domestic violence?
Because women are emotional and full of drama.
What do Somalians excel at in the United States?
Welfare fraud.
Why does the Marine Corps have the best uniforms?
Because the Navy wants their bitches to look nice.