Short jokes
What’s another name for a woman giving birth?
Unloading the dishwasher.
Yo momma so ugly, she got a job ringing the bells at Notre Dame.
What is the best way to run away from home?
Join the military.
Halal!
Is it meat you're looking for?
What do you call a lesbian vampire?
Cunt Dracula.
Son: "Mom, am I adopted?"
Mom: "Yes."
Son: "Where are my real parents?"
Dad: "We are your real parents, so... GET OUT!"
Why was nine scared of ten?
Because five was a registered twelve offender.
Wait, can I try the joke again?
What do you call a sick Asian?
A calculator with dead batteries.
I saw a Down syndrome kid waving at me today, but there's no way I'm swimming all the way over there to save him.
"Eugheugh," said the boy.
So what does stress and energy mean?
Beer.
"My love, I missed you."
"Aww, I missed you too."
"I did not miss *that* time!"
The professor said, "I think this question raises a few problems."
The student replied, "That is not a question; that is an answer."
What does a kid at Epstein Island and MAGA supporters have in common?
They both can't get Trump's dick out of their mouth.
I have a 12-inch destroyer.
Trump keeps calling people "nasty", "failing", and "disgusting".
Doesn't he own a mirror?
Q. What's a compulsive masturbator's favourite food?
A. Jackfruit
What do sped gymnasts wear?
A Reotard.
Q. What do iPads and Jeffrey Epstein have in common?
A. Kids turn them on.
I have the superpower to predict the past.
What does Joker say when someone gets angry at him for not liking oats?
"Hey, why so cereal?"