Short jokes
Your hairline is so back down, it is in your neck.
What is the difference between a man peering through the keyhole and a woman in the bath?
One is rude and nosy; the other is nude and Rosy.
I tried phone sex once, lost my bits to a stray "call waiting" beep. Very painful. Never again.
What is a gay person's favorite fast food place?
Jack(off) in the Box.
I woke up in my bed today.
Yo Mama so fat, she could fit you in her stomach.
I had an Alzheimer's joke, but something's fogging up my mind.
What's the number one thing in an orphan's search history?
"How to find a family."
Yo Mama so dumb, she needs 10 explanation bears to understand you.
I don’t think 9/11 jokes are funny... they just crash and burn.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Kamikaze!
Kamikaze wh—
おいおい、お前を殺して、その塔ごと地面に叩き込んでやるぞ! いいな?
Do you know what the secret is to have a smoking hot body?
Cremation.
What do you call someone in a wheelchair being pushed by a cannibal?
A to-go order.
Why was the orphan so good at baseball?
Because his coach said, "Go long or go home."
When it comes to mosquitoes in Africa, should you feel bad that they're getting AIDS from their victims?
How did black people learn to steal sports cars?
By playing GTA nonstop.
What do you call a bus full of stoners?
The Magic School Bus.
Roses are red,
Lilies are white,
One race ends up dead
And the other ends up bright.
I had a teacher named Mr. Stubs. I asked why he was given that name, and he replied, "My parents said my limbs were spare parts."
What's the worst part about eating vegetables from the hospital?
The life support cord.