Shes jokes

My girlfriend gave me the best blowjobs, then she grew teeth.

My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest, telling her we can get married once she makes her way out.

Yo mama is so fat, when she nocliped into the backrooms, she was in level 0 and level 999 at the same time.

Whenever I go to bed, my wife disappears, but whenever I turn on the lights at night, she’s back in bed.

Yo mama's so ugly, she went into a strip club and got paid to keep her clothes on.

My grandma always said, "Slow and steady wins the race."

She died in a fire.

What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?

You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets it.

This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator.

I was staring at boobs, and she said, "Press One?"

So I did...

I don't remember much after that.

My wife said I didn’t listen to a single thing she says.

What a weird way to start a conversation!

I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.

I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"

She said, "He was a little tardy."

I replied to her, "I thought they all were."

Yo mama so fat, she is 4 feet tall laying down.

How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?

A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.

Yo mama so fat she ate Saturn and mistook it for bubble gum.

So, my girlfriend left me. I took her wheelchair, and she came back crawling.

How many times does Ariana Grande knock at the door?

She doesn’t, she just uses 7 rings.

Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a scale and it said: "To be continued."

My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine! Lol.

Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what's right, with all your might.

Your mama is so short, she does backflips under her bed.

I told her she needed to put her dog on a leash, and her boyfriend is still on a leash to this day. 😮‍💨