Shes jokes

I was in a motivational seminar about depression the other day, and she said I could be anything I wanted to be if I put my mind to it. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do it, even if it's messy.

A: Why are you so sad?

B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.

A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?

B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie!

Get a calculator.

Okay, anyways, Sally has 69 bottles of boobs (because she is a cannibal that collects boobs) and her friend said it was 222 many. She got caught by the police and was taken to 51st Street. She got arrested for x8 days, so she was BOOBLESS.

Your mom is so ugly, she made the devil go to church.

Yo mama is so old, she is the founder of the pyramid of Egypt.

I have an exam next week, so I called my ex and asked if she had any cheating tips.

Yo mama so old when she farts, dust comes out.

Yo mama is so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

Yo mama is so fat that I could write 3 paragraphs, and she still wouldn’t fit.

Yo mama so ugly, when she went to unlock her phone with her face, it said, "disconnected."

Why don't orphans go to the shops? Because when their mum leaves, she's never coming back.

A little girl was sitting with some other kids. She thought to herself, "I want to have kids when I'm older, at least they’ll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!" 🤣😂

Your mama is so ugly, she tried summoning Candyman, but he refused to come!

"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.

For some reason, when my mom eats hot dogs, she likes to lick and suck on it first. As a son, can anyone tell me why?

What did the Chinese girl say when she had a baby?

"Sum ting wong."

I wanted another piece of pizza... but she said I could only have One Piece.

Yo mama so stupid, she tried to climb Mt. Dew.

Yo mama so tall, she was next to Neil Armstrong on the moon.

My wife went to Niagara Falls and fell. She broke every bone in her body.

One year later, she recovered. She slipped on an orange peel and died.