Shes jokes

My mom told me that she and the owner of a Chinese restaurant made a deal. Now we get free Chinese food. So I ask my mom why do we get free Chinese food? Then my mom said, "I love him long time."

Jack took Jill up a hill to have a picnic, but Jack and Jill got drunk. They then Jill unzipped Jack's fly, then said, "You know you want me to."

He said yes, so she took off her dress and bra. Jack took his pants and shirt off too. They both went in the well together and played a game: Jack's candy stick in Jill's candy stick. Next, Jill was sucking Jack's candy stick while Jack licked and sucked her candy stick, then Jill sat on Jack's candy stick while making out.

Yo mama so fat, she doesn't count as 1 person bro, she counts as 40 people.

Yo mama so fat, she went outside and became the sun.

I asked my nan if she wouldn't mind shitting in a bucket when we went camping. She replied, "Why the fuck would I want to sit in a bucket?" So eventually she did, and I took the best shit I have ever had!

There is this girl at school, and she gets bullied for being in a wheelchair.

Why doesn’t she stand up for herself?

My girlfriend was born on February 29th, so does that mean she is 2 years old?

Yo mama is so fat that when she jumps, the earth was shaking!

Englishman: We named our son George since he was born on Saint George's Day.

Irishman: We called our daughter Valentine since she was born on Valentine's Day.

Scotsman: We named our son Pancake because he was born on Pancake Day!

I asked my mother about her mom.

She said she was in a better place. After that, I asked her where that place is. She didn't know, so I sent her to a better place.

Your mother is so fat, she doesn’t need...

Your mum is so fat, she eats every meal from KFC, Maccas, Hungry Jacks all at once!

Joe Mama is so fat that when she sat on an iPhone, it turned into an iPod.

Yo mama so stupid that she sat on the TV and watched the couch.

We are in a matrix, wake up.

My gf told me she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach.

She asked me "Why the hell did you do that?!?!?" "I wanted to let you know I'm pro abortion."

Yo mama so old, she witnessed Noah building the ark.

Yo mama's so ugly, she looked out the window and was arrested for mooning.

She's so ugly, she has to sneak up on a mirror.

Hey, if you've watched Twilight with Edward, Bella, and Jacob, then here's something for you.

Do you think Bella should have gotten with Jacob? I think she should have, ngl.

Yo mama's so fat, if she buys a fur coat, a whole species will become extinct.