Shes jokes

I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."

So, I walked up to my grandma and I said, "What color would you be on a rainbow cupcake?" She just turned 61, ok, ok. So I'm like, "I got it, I got it, ok, ok." She's like: "Ok, what color?" I say: "Grey."

When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:

"Enjoy the little things."

Son: I heard mom got stung by a few bees this morning. Is she ok? Hospital?

Dad: She's ok now, no hospital.

Dad: She had to take the deep penis.

Son: Umm...... WHAT!?

Dad: I had to inject her with an EPIC PENIS.

Dad: Oh for god's sakes.

Dad: Epi Pen.

There's a girl I like in my school, but she's always on her phone. It seems that I can't get a SIGNAL from her.

I heard my neighbors having sex, and it was annoying me, so I called my girlfriend to ask if she wanted to go out, but when I called her, I heard my neighbors' phone ringing.

Yo mama so fat that when she gets in the truck, it breaks.

Yo mama is so ugly that if she went on stage, the show would instantly say, "And that's a wrap!"

I told a girl she was cute, and she said, "Aw, tysm."

How does she know I have that?

Did you hear about the woman who couldn't stop collecting magazines? She had issues.

Yo mama's so stupid, she climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side.

Put Helen Keller in George Floyd's position. How would she cry out for help? Would she just moan, or would she try to do sign language?

If you can make a woman laugh, you're almost there.

If you're almost there and then she laughs, then you've got a whole different problem on your hands.

Yo mama so disgusting, she hangs toilet paper to dry after she wiped with them.

A mathematics professor arrived home at 3 am drunk.

His wife was up waiting for him.

"You said you'd be home by 11:45!" she yelled.

He responded, "No my dear, I said I'd be home at a quarter of 12."

Yo mama's so stupid, when they said it was chilly outside, she grabbed a bowl.

Yo mama's so old, she knew Burger King when he was a prince.

Yo mama's so fat, she was overthrown by a small militia group, and now she's known as the Republic of Yo Mama.

I asked the homeless woman if I could take her home. She said yes, so I took it.

I walked in on my little sister when she was naked.

The thing I have to say is that my little sister is a big sister with big tits & ass with juicy lips upstairs & downstairs. I say whoever is going to be my brother-in-law is going to be a very happy person.