Shes jokes

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

I asked the librarian if they had any books on anxiety.

She replied with, "Won't you worry a lot about returning it late?"

If you look for something for 10 days and a woman walks in, opens a cabinet, and finds it:

So, just hire a female pope for the Holy Grail that has been missing for 500 years so she just opens a cabinet and she finds it.

Yo mama's so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl!

"Rajesh get on bus, so many people, squeeze here squeeze there. He daydream about naughty stuff, like coffee spill but not coffee. Bus move, stop, he press close to pretty lady, she smell nice. Rajesh think how funny if something else spill, make whole bus ride wild." He laugh to self, bus ride never boring now!

A 10 year old girl reported to her friends that her 16 year old male babysitter was touching her inappropriately. He quickly lost his job as a babysitter.

A 10 year old boy reported to his friends that his 16 year old female babysitter was touching him inappropriately. She quickly became the most popular babysitter in town amongst boys.

I pulled my kid out of school after a woke teacher taught my six-year-old about pronouns! Yesterday, it was "he/she," today, "they/it," tomorrow, "I/you/we!"

I'm so bored and miserable, that I have sex with my inflatable girlfriend every night.

The best part? She don't talk back.

Women should be seen and not heard.

But how would you control that if she was screaming "NO!!!" in the bedroom?

Your mom smells so bad she could stun a horse in a field.

Your mum's vagina is so ravenous, that last night we both ended up on the living room floor, with her on top. She was eating my creamy young face off.

Your mom is the biggest tosser on the planet, yeah, you heard right.

I don't have to strain myself a blood vessel and be wankin' solo anymore; she saved me a whole load of arthritis.

She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.

I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.

Beauty is blind? Ya damn right, 'cause that's what happened when she saw your ass.

I tried to rape Amy Winehouse, but she said, "No! No! No!"

Your momma so slutty, she got banned from Heavy-R.

My wife and I watched the movie Indecent Proposal last night. Afterwards, I asked her if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for $1,000,000. She said, "Sure, but where am I gonna get that kind of money?"

Siri is so ugly that she needs to go in the dumpster. She's so ugly that she needs to go in the toilet.

If she's not ready for an X-rated movie, she's not ready for this X-rated booty.

They're teaching my 1st grader pronouns! Today it was he/she/they. Tomorrow, you/are/is!