Shes jokes

What did the lady say when she sat on Pinocchio's face:

"Tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth!"

Your momma so fat when she stepped on one scale, it broke. When she got another one, it said "TBC." She looked in the mirror, it broke.

Yo mamma so fat, she asked for a water bed, and they put a blanket over the Atlantic Ocean.

Yo mama so fat, she went to the moon without leaving Earth.

Yo mama so fat that she's social distancing from herself.

Your mom is so fat that when she went to the dentist, the man said, "One at a time."

My teacher called me beautiful. I hate when she lies.

One time Uma Thurman was Poison Ivy; she was weird in that, except for her punny jokes.

I have trash so I throw it at my sister and say that she is a trash can.

Yo momma's so short that she fell off the toilet and broke her leg.

Your mama so fat she sunk the HMS ship!

How did Gertie Gorilla make the Playboy magazine?

She was ape-ril!

How can you tell that a blonde likes you? She only gives three fucking nights in a row.

Teacher's pen is RED, our pen is BLUE, she is marking an EGG on my marksheet, left with questions and no CLUE.

Stupid Mary Jane was swinging on the swing.

Her momma said, "Stupid Mary Jane, don't swing so high, the boys will see your underwear!"

Stupid Mary Jane laughed and laughed. She knew she wasn't wearing no underwear.

We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.

But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.

My sister is so short she can't walk.

A teenage girl got a summer job dogsitting for a gigantic English Mastiff. She spent hours with the dog, and walked a little funny when she got home.

"What are you doing all day?"

"Knot a lot."

When you tell your mom that she is bad at jokes, then she tells you, "Well, I made you!"

Your mama so ugly she went by a TV and missed eight episodes.