She jokes

Crackhead

  • One day, a man was walking in an alley when a crackhead attacks him. So the man shoots him in the head and runs inside his home. When he goes to his wife, she asks him if he saw her dad.

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    Mama

  • Yo Mama so fat, she has a Twinkie inside of a Twinkie inside of her fat ass motherfucking belly button!

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  • Mama

  • Yo mama so fat, when she ate one cheeseburger, she pooped it out immediately because her butt was too big.

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    Chili

  • Why did Kristen Stewart fart on the set of Charlie's Angels? Because she ate too much damn chili for breakfast I made for her. I just forgot to put my foot in it.

    Mama

  • Yo mama so stupid, she brought weed to the highway. Then she realized, "I'm not stupid, I was just high as a bitch." She just got fucked so hard by her man, she thought she was high.

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    Mama

  • Your mama is so skinny that when she went to go outside, the slightest breeze flew her all the way to New Mexico.

    Sex

  • Jake grabbed Lina's thigh and said, "Why don't we have sex? I really wanna see your boobs. I bet they're hot." "Yeah, they are." She took her clothes off and he saw her body. "OMG GODDESS OF BOOBS, PUSSYS AND BUTT LETS HAVE SEX LOOK AT MY..." HE WOKE UP THEN CRIED AND KISSED HIS SISTER'S BUTT. SHE SMACKED HIM THEN HE TOOK HER TO HIS BASEMENT AND KILLED HER FROM SEX.

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    Police

  • A man told his love interest she looked beautiful.

    And then his love interest told him she had loads of things to tell him.

    And after 3 minutes, she told him he looked fat, ugly, disgusting, creepy, and tiny.

    Then the police came and arrested her for saying that.

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    Puck

  • I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?

    She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"

    To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"

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  • Reality

  • A boy is working on his English homework and asks his father for some help. "Dad, what's the difference between 'potential' and 'reality'?"

    His dad replies, "I'll tell you what. Go ask your mother if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for a million bucks. Then go ask your sister if she'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks. Once you have their answers, you'll know the difference."

    So the boy goes to his mother and poses the question: "Would she sleep with Robert Redford for a million bucks?"

    She answers, "Don't tell your Dad, but yes, I certainly would!"

    The boy then goes to his sister and asks her his next question: "Would she sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks?"

    "Oh definitely!" she answers, without a moment's thought.

    The boy goes back to his father, an expression of understanding on his face.

    "You're right, Dad, I know the difference now. Potentially, we're sitting on two million bucks. In reality, we're living with a couple of sluts."

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    Candy

  • One day, Johnny told his dad that a girl in his class liked him. He thought she was cute. She said, "Aw, you're like candy!" He didn't say anything. He said, "Why don't you think I am sweet like candy?" Little Johnny said, "Well, sometimes I get a toothache, and it hurts, so I stop eating it, like I stopped liking you."

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    Friend

  • Friend: Do you think she likes me?

    Me: Yah.

    Friend: Really😀😀😀?

    Me: Hell no.

    Friend: 😥😓😫😭😭😭😭😭😭 You did not have to be so honest.