She jokes

Mom

    • My mom tells me when I get into an argument with her that she brought me into this world and she can take me out. Sometimes I wanna tell her that I can do that for her.

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    • Church

    • One Easter Sunday, a man goes to church and returns home with two black eyes.

    His wife inquires as to how he got the black eyes.

    The man goes on to say, “a lady stood up in front of me during mass, I saw her dress was stuck in her butt crack, so I reached out and tugged it out. She whirled around, became furious, and punched me in the eye.”

    “That explains one black eye,” the wife says, “but what about the other?” The man explains, “I figured she must have liked her dress stuck up in her butt crack, so when she turned around I stuffed it back up there.”

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    • Sally

    • Where did Sally go when the bomb went off?

    Everywhere.

    Why did Sally fall off the swing?

    She had no arms.

    Knock, knock.

    Who's there?

    Not Sally.

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    • Bank

    • I was at my bank today waiting in a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady, who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla of yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?" The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations." The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!"

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    • She memes

    Number

    • I asked a Chinese girl her number, she said "Sex, sex, sex, free sex tonight." I said, "Wow!"

    Her friend corrected her by saying, "She means: 666-3629."

    Wife

    • So, one day I have a wife, but if it's getting a longer day, she is moving so weird, and I see she has sex with Rick Astley. 😂 [rickrolled]

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    • Gender Equality

    • So, gender equality is the idea that a woman can do anything a man can, right? That they should be treated the same? So, therefore, if she swings on me, I could punch her into the Twin Towers because of gender equality. I love gender equality.

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    • Umbrella

    • "Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.

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    • Backyard

    • While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, “No honey for you for one month!”

    Later that afternoon, Johnny’s dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. “That’s it! No butter for you for one month!” says his dad.

    Later that evening as Johnny’s mother cooks dinner, a cockroach runs across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, “Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?”

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    • Woman

    • Why did the woman want a boyfriend at least 2 🦶 taller?

    So she could feel like a little girl and fulfill her rape fantasy.

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    • Teacher

    • The 6th-grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?”

    No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!”

    Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, “Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?”

    Little Mary’s mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her, “Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!”

    The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, “Anybody?”

    Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, “The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.”

    Mrs. Parks said, “Very good, Billy,” then turned to Mary and continued.

    “As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: One, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didn’t read your homework. And three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed.”

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