She jokes
Daughter: Dad, why did Mom do best?
Dad: Nothing, except pretend to love us and leave.
Daughter: So she only loves my sister?
Dad: Yep.
Yo mama so fat when she asked for a bathtub, they put a blanket over an ocean!
Why did Stephen Hawking and his wife stop playing hide and seek? She kept using a metal detector.
I am never letting Elsa take care of my dog again. Last time she just let it go.
Yo mama so fat, she is fat.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."
A man walks into a bar with an alligator and a stick. He walks up to the bartender and offers to put on a show for the bar's patrons in exchange for a drink. The bartender agrees, so he pulls down his pants, sticks his dick in the alligator's mouth, and starts whacking it with the stick. After he's done and gets his drink, he asks if anyone else would like a go.
A lady gets up and says yes, she would like a go, asks that he doesn't hit her with the stick.
What did Caesar call a person?
She-Caesar.
There was one girl. She met 5000 guys. She had sex with each of them seven times. She became... - flip screen (=).
Yo mama so ugly, she made everybody's face fall off.
Yo mama so fat, she the iceberg.
Yo mama so fat, she the iceberg.
Yo' mama is so stupid, she couldn't find a needle in a haystack.
Yo' mama is so stupid, she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for her gumball.
Aliana is so fat, she can't fit through a hula hoop.
Yo' mama is so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.
Yo' mama so stupid, she returned a donut because it had a hole in it.
Yo' mama is so ugly, she makes onions cry.
My sister was at Sixth Street and someone stepped on her toes and she bled, so she called the police! XD
Mary is hanging out, and the angel Gabriel descends behind her. She looks behind her and says, "Jesus Christ!" and the angel Gabriel said, "So you already know."
When your grandma says she's rusty but still manages to teach you.