How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?
Pick it up and suck its dick.
Your manna so fat your father will be coming around the mountain when he cums.
Her husband prepares them a romantic dinner. The wife tells her husband about her desire for it. The husband was clueless about such acts. So, the wife tells him to strip naked on the couch and lay underneath her naked in the reverse missionary position.
She starts thrusting with his meat inside of her and starts waiting for him to thrust along with her thrusts. However, the husband didn’t know what to do, so he just laid there. Suddenly the wife had an urge to pee, but held it in because her husband’s joystick was right inside her. She loses control after a while and lets one drip out. The wife apologizes profusely and continues thrusting her husband. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another drip of urine run down the husband’s schlong to his pelvis.
The husband throws the wife from the couch, gets up, and says,
"Honey, if you think I’ll be screwed by you for more of that, you’re out of your mind."
Guy: Do you want a nickel?
Girl: Sure.
Guy: So you’ll tickle my pickle?
Girl: 😳😩😩😩
My wife caught me one day for watching a porn channel, so I quickly turned the TV to a fishing channel. On her way out, she said: "You should stay on the porn channel. You know how to fish!"
How does a gay man trick a heterosexual man that is homophobic into giving him a brojob?
The gay man puts mustard on his dick and then puts his dick inside a glory hole.
Why can a gay man give a better brojob to a heterosexual man than another heterosexual man?
Experience.
Why does a heterosexual man swallow the sperm of another man after he has given him a brojob?
Because of the cream filling inside, just like the individually wrapped cakes of Hostess Twinkies.
What do five dicks sticking out of glory holes and five udders both have in common? They are ready for milking.
What is the difference between a man performing anilingus on a woman and a man performing cunnilingus on a woman?
If a man is performing anilingus on a woman, it is not classified as heterosexual sodomy, you fucking idiot!!!!!
Do you want to play Titanic?
When I say iceberg, you go down on me.
Two gay guys, two lesbians, and two pedophiles have a race.
What is the order of finish?
1. Lesbians. Doing 69 the whole way.
2. Pedophiles. Coming in a little behind.
3. Gay guys. Still packing their shit.
China servers are up on Fortnite, yeah, check by there.
"China getting this dick in your mouth 😂"
Fila is a cool brand. I fill a cock in my ass.
Shaenaya hates me, help! And she wants to suck off ******* and ****** and ***** and *****.
What's the difference between a rabbi and a priest? One cuts them off and one sucks them off.
How long does it take to blow up a baby in the microwave?
I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate...
What's the definition of trust?
Two cannibals giving each other blowjobs.
