Sexual act jokes

Two gay guys, two lesbians, and two pedophiles have a race.

What is the order of finish?

1. Lesbians. Doing 69 the whole way.

2. Pedophiles. Coming in a little behind.

3. Gay guys. Still packing their shit.

Do you want to play Titanic?

When I say iceberg, you go down on me.

How long does it take to blow up a baby in the microwave?

I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate...

My wife caught me one day for watching a porn channel, so I quickly turned the TV to a fishing channel. On her way out, she said: "You should stay on the porn channel. You know how to fish!"

How does a gay man trick a heterosexual man that is homophobic into giving him a brojob?

The gay man puts mustard on his dick and then puts his dick inside a glory hole.

Why can a gay man give a better brojob to a heterosexual man than another heterosexual man?

Experience.

What do five dicks sticking out of glory holes and five udders both have in common? They are ready for milking.

Why does a heterosexual man swallow the sperm of another man after he has given him a brojob?

Because of the cream filling inside, just like the individually wrapped cakes of Hostess Twinkies.