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Sex jokes

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Why did the penis go fly?

Because a girl sucked it too hard, it went flying away.

So I heard it was important to clean your sex toys, which is why priests invented baptism I guess.

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    • What do you call it when a prostitute pays someone 5 bucks to fuck them?

    5 dollar footlongs.

    My mom and dad got home from a party pretty late. Why do I know? Because I was playing Minecraft all night.

    Anyways, they get home and start fumbling up the stairs and being really loud. I could have swore I heard them fall down. I assumed they were drunk. I was just playing my Switch when they come into my room. Now I'm about 10 at the time so I watch them get undressed IN MY FUCKING BED! I then just stare at them as they notice me before I witness anything. They say that they were doing "intense kissing" the next morning. I believed that at the time, but now I've been to health class. I now know the truth. I wish I hadn't.

    When I was 11, my mom came home from the bar super drunk that night, and I just wanted to know if they knew where the cat was because I heard a noise. We had a loooooooong talk the next morning.

    Oil and Ass.

    Big Phat Wet Ass Orgy 2.

    Bubble Butt Bonanza 2.

    Big Bubble-Butt Cheerleaders 2.

    Big Wet Butts 5.

    There Will Be Cum 9.

    Mandingo Rocks That Ass.

    Big Butts Like It Big 2.

    Blowjob Ninjas 5.

    Keep It Right There 2.

    Big Wet Brazilian Asses! 6

    Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams, "Bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied, "Aunts and uncles." Oh.

    Next thing he hears is, “Dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he knows, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling, "Fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, Dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh.

    Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings. Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, Dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."