Sex jokes
A man walked into a fleshlight and died.
Zaine Davis and Stephen Hawking fuck each others brains out.
Yesterday I was fucking my sister, and she said, "You fuck a lot like dad." I said, "Really? Mum said that too."
My stepmom kicked me out of the house because I was raped and got pregnant. I kicked her to death because she had sex and gave birth to my rapist stepbrother.
Fishing is like sex: when it is great, it is great; when it is not so great, it is still great!
Adam and Eve had sex. It was paradise.
What's the difference between your job and a dead hooker?
Your job still sucks.
A woman comes to the doctor and tells her, "Doctor, my husband wants intense sex all day, what should I give him?" The doctor says, "My number."
Why was 7 afraid of 9? Because he's a registered sex offender.
My favorite sex position is the McDonald's.
Ba da ba ba ba, I'm lovin' it!
Why don't lesbians have sex in the morning?
Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese?
Anyone know how to get an A on the "An Inspector Calls" section of the GCSE paper?
My sister's name was Philma. We were unfortunate enough to have the last name Coochie. Let's just say no more virgins were at that school.
What's the hardest thing about being a rapist?
My dick.
If your girl smells like tilapia, don’t let her on top of ya.
My wife purely hates me for me having sex with our daughter.
It's not my fault I couldn't wait to get out of the abortion clinic!
Did you hear about the blind prostitute?
Well, you gotta hand it to her.
If it's on the clock, it's old enough for the cock.
Q. Two gay guys are having sex, when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out of the house first, the guy on top or bottom?
A. The guy on the bottom because he already has his shit packed.
20 years of sex in the dark, the wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick." The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch."