Sex jokes
What's better than sex with your 12 year old sister?
Rolling her over and pretending it's your 10 year old brother.
What's the difference between a boy and girl? A boy always carries an average 5in "do not enter" sign.
There was a woman named Sally. She loved to have sex with other people. One time, she had sex with me. I noticed her bra size was 69 (+69). That is fucking big!
Ok, then when her partner was pissing, he told her she should call the doctor. So she dialed 2063512000 (+2000) and called the doctor. The office was on 51st street ave NE (+51). Holy shit, the doctor said! The boots were so big that she had to take 8 pills (x 8). The next morning, she was ________.
69 + 51 + 2000 x 8 = 16120
58008 (flip calculator)
Boobless.
F*ck me!
I dicked your mom down so good, bitch!
I f..... Nan and dust came out. đ
A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?"
The little boy says, "Thatâs my little red race car."
Ten minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?"
The little girl says, "Thatâs my little red race car garage."
So later that night, the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She said yes, and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it wonât fit.
Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?"
The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldnât fit, so I cut the back wheels off."
I heard you were looking for a stud. I have the STD, and all I need is U.
Brother: "I can hear you using the vibrator every night, Iâm right here if you need help."
Sister: "Thatâs my f***ing electric toothbrush!"
Brother: "Oh, well the offer still stands."
What hangs low?
Balls.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich?
I don't put my dick in a sandwich before I eat it.
A dog meets a cat. The cat is black and the dog is white. They have sex on site, no cap.
My joke is about Archer, riddles, sex life. Wait, sorry, there is none.
Thanks for reading Archerâs love life story.
How do you sex?
With penis!
Jajajajja funny joke epic laugh. I have been detained, please help!
What do you call five black people having sex? A threesome.
Why does Santa have such a big sack? He only comes once a year.
What's the point of sex when you're gay?
Because only gay people jerk off.
What is Sophiaâs favourite song?
"Open Wide" cum inside, it is okay school.
I asked my new girlfriend how many men sheâd had before me.
She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand.
Unfortunately, this was when I noticed sheâs holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys. I asked and she said thatâs my fam as well. I noticed an Alabama driver's license. I asked which one was her dad. She said that she doesnât talk to him anymore because he had sex with the bossâs daughter. I casually asked what he did for work. Self-employed? She said thatâs the last time I use ancestry.com!
What did the wind say to the palm tree? "Hold onto your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job."