Sex

Sex jokes

In Soviet Russia, gay sex gets you arrested.

In America, getting arrested gets you gay sex.

I heard my neighbors having sex, and it was annoying me, so I called my girlfriend to ask if she wanted to go out, but when I called her, I heard my neighbors' phone ringing.

Incest.

When "slow down and apply more lube bro" REALLY means slow down and apply more lube bro.

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    • What did Stephen Hawking's wife say to him having sex? "You're wheelie good at this!"

    Why do some men call their testicles "bells"? Because it's next to their "ding-dong."

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    • Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"

    Man: "Yes!"

    Reporter: "Name?"

    Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."

    Reporter: "Sex?"

    Man: "Three to five times a week."

    Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"

    Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."

    Reporter: "Holy cow!"

    Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."

    Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"

    Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."

    Reporter: "Oh dear!"

    Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."

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    • If you have sex and your African parents find out,

    “You can do the boom boom. But you can not do the boom boom in my house. Do it somewhere else."

    A mom and her son are taking a walk when they pass a homeless man fapping. The boy asks, "What is that man doing?" The mom says, "Making pizza," trying to turn him away.

    The son sees a dog fucking another dog and he asks the same thing. She says, "Making extra cheese." When they pass a window and see a couple doing it, he asks the same thing. She says, "Ordering the pizza."

    Later that day, the mother says to the father, "I think I want to order some pizza with extra cheese tonight, don't know why that sounds good."

    So that night, the husband who was watching tv yelled up the stairs, "Wanna order some pizza!?"

    The mother replied, "DON'T WORRY I'M MAKING SOME!"

    The son's voice followed, "I'M ADDING EXTRA CHEESE!"

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