Person 1: Stop making suicidal jokes!
Person 2: Okay, okay, I’ll cut it out.
Person 1: Really?
Person 2: They're not even that deep.
What's the difference between my arm and my stomach? My stomach isn't ripped.
what's the difference between my hand and my blade? my hand isn't sharp.
A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"
I don't need to go to the car dealership when I have a Geico scanner on my arm at all times. 😏
What do you call an emo that likes pizza? A pizza cutter.
I was gonna tell a self harm joke, but realized it would cause too much pain.
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?
Pizza won't cut itself.
If you slit your wrist while crying in pain, that's self-harm.
If you slit your wrist but have no expression, that's acting.
It isn't any of those if it's suicide.
Maybe if the grass on my front lawn had depression, It would cut itself.
I know what I want to be for Halloween! A pumpkin! I'm very good at carving into myself, after all.
My friend: You really need to stop the SH jokes.
Me: But they're not that long.
How you feel when you slit yourself once: :(
How you feel when you slit yourself more than once: <:(
How you feel when you slit yourself everyday: *dead inside*
What part do people slit the most?
Everyone.
Why do emos cut their arms because they can't cut the rope
Why do emos get discounts at every shop? Because they have barcodes on their wrists.
Someone asked me, "What are them scars on your arm?" I thought I was playing a violin.
Why is it okay to stab meat, but I can't stab myself? These woke lefties, BLM, Antifa, feminists, eco-warriors, pro-vaccine libtards are stopping your freedom and right to stab yourself!
If you want to SH but not in the sell farm way, come ooon.. do you even know what does that means?..
Therapist: What do you want to do when you grow up?
Me: Oh, I wan-
Therapist: Don’t say to be dead.
Me: Well, I want to be an entrepreneur. I want to sell land, pencils, oh yeah. I also want to sell farm.
