My 14 year old daughter went shopping at a grocery story.
She gets to the register and she asked the cashier to scan her scarred wrist.
The cashier scanned it and replied with, "Ma'am this item is worthless."
Self Harm Jokes
My friend, while we are shopping and I'm telling her about my mental illness: "You're priceless."
When we get to the checkout: "I'm actually $2.50."
My best friend looked at my arms and said, "Stop, sh*t, it's bad," then turns right around and says, "You look like a tiger."
So from here on out I am now Finn, the self-harming tiger.
Friend: “What's that on your arm?”
Me: “Oh, nothing. Just decided I wanted to cosplay a tiger.”
The other day, me and my friend were at the shops buying crafts. I was wearing a black top; she was wearing a stripy top. We were arguing about who was more creative when she asked me to prove that I am. I just said, "You buy your stripes, I make mine."
People keep telling me that I should stop making sh jokes... bro it's not that deep.
Your momma! OHHHHH!
Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”
Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.
Me: I have no bullet holes.
Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.
Me: Ayo what the fuc*.
When I self-harmed one day, my mother told me that it cut her deep. We both found that very amusing.
Sorry for all the jokes, I'll end it.
I named my grass emo, and it cut itself.
What shouldn't you ask an emo?
"Do a wrist reveal."
Why should you be friends with emos? Because you get to scan their bar code for 20% off, and when it expires, they get rid of themselves.
What do me and Monster cans have in common? A barcode.
playing irl fruit ninja on my arm.
What makes emos jump?
Bridges.
How do emo kids complement each other?
They say, "I like ya cuts g."
Somebody asked me, "What's that on your arm?" I just said, "My cats got OCD."
Person 1: Stop making suicidal jokes!
Person 2: Okay, okay, I’ll cut it out.
Person 1: Really?
Person 2: They're not even that deep.
What's the difference between my arm and my stomach? My stomach isn't ripped.
