Self Harm jokes

I had to stop using cutting jokes because they were getting too deep.

Preventing suicide is best done by committing it.

I SH so much, even when I die and become a ghost, you can see red stripes floating around the room.

"what's that on your wrist?"

"I'm a cutting board. duh"

I was asked at school to draw a line across the paper, but instead I showed them my wrists.

My friend asked, "What's that on your arm?" I replied, "Oh, this? I didn't have enough storage on my phone to download Fruit Ninja so I had to improvise a little bit."

I now know what my first tattoo should be, zebra stripes! Not like anyone would know the difference between them.

What is a self-harm person's favorite game?

Fruit Ninja.

Butcher knives are great tools for cutting many things!

Fruit, vegetables, my arms.

I can hear thunder outside, which I find weird since the lightning is on my arm...

Why don’t emo girls go to self checkout?

Because every time they scan, it scans twice.

What do you call a flat emo?

A cutting board.

My wrists have a different texture pack than the rest of me.

I'm gonna jump to my death.

Don't worry. I won't jump far.

Just off this chair here...

Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.

When me and my friend went to the market, my friend tried to scan my arm, and I asked her what she was doing. She answered, "Oh, I had to buy you so I don't steal you."

What did the emo kid say to the cashier? ... "Scan my wrists."

My friend, you lit my mind: that's what the lighter said to my thighs.

Are you bleach? Because I want you inside of me.

People see this Rolex and they kill themselves.

Motherfucker, that's a suicide watch!