Kid: "What's dark humor?"
Mom: "You see that man over there without arms? Tell him to clap."
Kid: "I am blind, Mom."
Mom: "Exactly."
See Jokes
What's better than seeing a baby swing around on a clothesline at 60km/h? Stopping it with a cricket bat.
I've been trying to find jokes about gouging my eyes out, but I couldn't see any.
Suicidal ideation is like wanting to slaughter someone but knowing/feeling that you can't. It's also, in a way, kind of like seeing a really hot chick that you wish you could F, but you again for whatever reason you either feel you can't or you just can't.
So you're in a hospital, you barely survive your suicide attempt. You see one of the scalpels, you finish the job.
The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals: a hacker, a rapist, a serial killer, and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial killer decides that she wants to change, but when she sees a knife she just can’t help it. She bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist gets teleported back to prison.
Q: How do Chinese people name their kids?
A: They throw pots and pans down the stairs and see what noises they make.
My friend’s mother was never a font of sympathy, but always the one to see beyond the darkness.
Upon learning about her daughter’s cancer diagnosis she said, “Well honey, at least you’ll lose some weight!”
Your hairline is so far away that even the Hubble Telescope can't see it.
When you can’t see your adopted joke pop up, it’s the same as asking your adopted friend where their parents are and never finding it.
I'm on a seafood diet, I see food and I eat it.
Lil Jimmy: Hey doc.
Doctor: Hi, sorry but I can’t see you anymore.
Lil Jimmy: Why?
Doctor: Because, Lil Jimmy, I’m a family doctor, you're an orphan.
Lil Jimmy: 👁👄👁🖕
Teacher: "I'll call your mother."
Orphan: "Go on, see if she picks up."
Hey girl, are your pants a mirror? 'Cause I can see myself in them.
I went to my sister's room one day. I saw a trophy, so I asked my sister how she won it. My sister said the neighbors gave it to her because she gave out the best hand jobs in the neighborhood. I guess my sister put her hands to good use.
I don’t see why emo kids don’t like to hang around.
I see them hang all day.
What do you do when you see a spaceman?
Park in it, man!
I see, you guys jokers are SANS-ational!
How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.
This is to the girl/boy named Gwen: Are you okay? I see there is a bunch of haters but DON'T, I repeat, DON'T let the haters get to you. I hope you see this and respond and that you are okay. Please Gwen, be honest.
