You don't usually see strap-hangers carrying newspapers these days. But one guy with the New York Times is seen getting on a crowded F Train. He notices a single seat not taken. Suspicious, he gets closer and sniffs it out. The seat is discolored but dry. Throwing caution to the winds, he removes a section from the paper and sets it down to buffer the spot from his behind. He sits down, stretches his feet and yells out: "Try sitting on your smartphones, suckers!"
Two friends who've been bros for forever see each other in Wal-Mart in the card section. The first guy asks what he got his wife for her birthday. The second guy tells him he got her a Maserati and a card. The first guy tells him he got his wife a card and a dildo for her birthday. The second guy asks why he got his wife a dildo for her birthday. The first guy says, "If she doesn't like the card I got her, then she can go fuck herself!"
Why do they call my dick section 8?
Because all the hoes are on it
Hey guys! It's Triple G you can give me more ideas on jokes, mainly Fish and Sea jokes as those are the jokes I specialise and only do best on the comment section below. Please do feel free to thumbs down and comment on improvements as well as thumbsing up and saying what you liked! :)
Au revouir, GGG
Me: *posts random joke about a duck*
That one guy in the comment section for no reason: Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you...
That other guy in the comment section: that’s actually offensive to ducks
Bro it’s a joke....
Got a job at the library yesterday... It lasted fifteen minutes... Turns out books about women's rights don't belong in the fiction section
The other day I went to a museum, my friend and I went to the holocaust section and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him. Why are you sad it’s just an Ash tray
I moved all the bibles to the fiction section because there is no god as said Stephen Hawking in 2011 but in 2018 god said there was no Stephen Hawking
I got a job at a library,i got fired after 15 minutes,they told me it was because I put women's right in fiction section
Guys don’t put the Holocaust books in the fiction section it was the worst mistake of my life!
What do you call an autistic person? Names.
Im autistic myself so dont go crying in my comment section.
Why do women buy clothes from the kids section? Because rapists prey on the weak.
This comment section is so dark it could be lil huddy
this isnt an orphan joke but. I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.
Prankster is Backster...DANG IT: Hey guys, prank for today is when I lied about feeling sick so I won't have to go to school. Introduction: This prank was commentited a week ago! Around 5:00 a.m. in the morning! 1. I got out some eggs, milk, salt, and a little bit of mashed olives...will those are main ingreidents. 2. I mixed it all up for about 2 mins just make it look really like barf...no going to school today! 3. I put it under the sofa just give it some solid scence to it. 4. I fix my breakfast eggs and becon. Then when my mom comes down I...PULL OUT MY FAKE BARF!!!!! News flash make a fake excuse for her to leave! My excuse is "I need some thing its in my room I don't want to get cause it would wast time" She fell for it. Then I pull out my FAKE barf which looks like real barf. Then you say or I said "Mom I don't feel so good''! News flash: Don't over sell it think about all that boring school work! and guess what she fell for it so I spend all day doing nothing...aboulty nothing! Will thats the prankster anymore pranks you want ask me in the comment section! Byeeeeeeeeeee
Sorry I don't have a joke here... Just wondering how idiots end up herecomplaining about offensive jokes when you ended up here. You had to click that section on purpose, right? If you can't take it piss the fuck off... If I'd be gay and I'd look up gay jokes and get offended...how stupid is that?
You know I really love going to school and meeting my crush. All I have to do is go to the africa section
Guys, I know this is kinda weird, but everyone who wants to... Put your name and your age in the comment section. Not address though because that would not be good for creepers... Lol I am Lucy and I am 15 years old. What about you guys? :D
I was at a supermarket in Barcelona and I noticed the alarm had gone off. There was a thief at the store the tea bag section had been ransacked. Luckily they found the thief Pionel Pessi with boxes of his favourite tea,Penaltea. Shame on you Pessi.
Name the emojis if you do then you get 900/900 points for knowing all the emojis! Type in the comment section. 1. 😀 whats this emoji meaning? 2. 😃 whats this emoji meaning? 3. 😚 whats this emoji meaning? 4. 😁 whats this emoji meaning? 5. 😍 whats this emoji meaning? 6. 😋 whats this emoji meaning ? 7. 🧐 whats this emoji meaning? 8. 😟 whats this emoji meaning? 9. 😳 whats this emoji meaning? 10. 😟 whats this emoji meaning? 11. 😰😨 whats this emoji meaning? 12. 😏 whats this emoji meaning? 13. 😬 whats this emoji meaning? 14. 🤐😣 whats this emoji meaning? 15. 😦🥺 whats this emoji meaning? The winner who will win will be getting 900/900 points!
