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Seal jokes

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Confusion

✨Jassy✨ · 1 year ago

hehehe😭

A seal with big, wide eyes looking confused, with the text "When someone's explained something to you three times already but you still have absolutely no idea what's going on."

Class

GG Miller · 3 years ago

I was reading this in class and laughed at loud, i had to clear all my history of jokes

A yellow minion with one eye and blue overalls stands on the left. To the right, there is a text that begins: "What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals..." and continues with a long, aggressive monologue.

Video

tabs1528 · 1 year ago

A seal is on a yellow kayak. A person is touching the seal's head. The comment says: "dont let the video fool you, seals are dangerous. i heard a group of them killed bin laden."

Package

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

$An unopened cardboard box and a handwritten letter is on a white table. The text below the image reads: "Unopened Vintage 1983 Ted Kaczynski \"UNABOMBER\" Package STILL SEALED! 100% positive feedback $19,550.00 + $12.50 Shipping 32 bids 1h 21m"$

Shit

Heroin Monkey · 10 months ago

A screenshot of a tweet from a user named Light Chocolate and Whole… (@MisterOWL9). The tweet reads: 'You haven't heard some weird shit until you fuck a deaf girl. Sounded like I was beating a baby seal.' Below the tweet, it shows '10:02 PM

5/21/19

Twitter for iPhone'.

Guy

The Radio Demon · 2 years ago

Seal Vs Sea Lion

The image shows two cartoon drawings of a seal and a sea lion. The seal is labeled with "ABABABBA", "just a little guy", and "potato dog". The sea lion is labeled with "BORK BORK", "um spooky", and "man in a wetsuit".

Ass

Anonymous · 2 years ago

A selfie of Phil Swift holding a can of Flex Seal with the caption "boutta flex seal my ass."

Ass

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A man holding a can of Flex Seal spray with a caption above that says "I'm about to flex seal my ass".

Nightmare

Anonymous · 1 year ago

Shitpost-master general

A seal with human-like eyes is positioned under a rainbow, with the words "I hope you have a nightmare and shit the bed." written below it.

Day

Adolf kitler · 1 year ago

A white and grey cat sitting upright with its head tilted back. The text on the image says, "The majestic land seal capable of sleeping up to 22 hours a day."

Nightmare

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image shows a seal with a rainbow in the background and the text "I hope you have a nightmare and shit the bed."

Oreo

Shitpost master-general · 8 months ago

Fan

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The top text says 'animal crossing fans when i seal them in a pool of sulphuric acid'. The bottom part of the image shows a man's face submerged in a yellow liquid, with his mouth open in distress, looking like he is being dissolved.

Sand

big [fire] balls · 1 year ago

A seal is rolling in the sand underwater. The video shows the animal moving around and stirring up sand. The bottom of the sea is visible. In the upper right corner a fish can be seen.

Flag

PIT BUM · 1 year ago

The flag of South Georgia and the South Sandwich Islands. It has a Union Jack in the upper left corner and a coat of arms to the right. The coat of arms features a reindeer, a seal, and a penguin, with the motto "Leo terram propriam protegat" below. The background of the flag is dark blue.

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