How many police officers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just beat the room for it being black.
I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.
I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?
Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson screwed little boys.
How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but how they got in there's the real mystery!
So, three guys are walking down the street together and decide to go rob a bank.
The first one goes for the richest man in the city’s vault but can’t open it easily and is caught and sent to death in jail for robbing the richest man.
The second one goes for his uncle's vault because screw that son of a b***h; he’s rich, why does he need all the money? But his uncle was unfortunately at the vault that day and snapped his nephew's neck.
The third one went for his ex’s vault and thought, “Well, that b***h can suck my d**k; she’s so poor anyway, who would care if I take all her money so she dies of hunger and dehydration and homelessness?” So he managed to get into her vault easily because it wasn’t heavily locked and took all her money. The next day, the third guy's ex showed up to his house and said, “I’m gonna f*****g murder you,” so she shot him dead and got her money from his house.
In hell, the three guys see each other and explain what happened. The third guy did and then asked, “You know, I don’t get it. If the richest guys are heavily guarded but already have so much money in their house, why does it need to be heavily guarded? I don’t understand why the poorer aren’t heavily guarded when they are so poor they need the money.” And the first guy said, “B***h, I don’t know, maybe the bank tellers think poor people should suck it and just die already.”
I find it best to screw people with memory loss. I mean, what's my grandma gonna do? Describe me to the cops?
Why'd the chicken cross the road?
That doesn't matter, we need to get the best joker to go back to posting here, he was funny but now people say they are him and ruin his good name, he was the top of the charts for over a year, so screw all these chumps! Bring back THE REAL SPECIAL!!!
Also, the chicken dies in the end, ha ha, funny, whatever.
How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light blub?
Screw anima!
Oh wait, that's called hentai.
Q: What is the difference between a stripper and a bungee cord?
A: It's cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're pretty much screwed.
Why does it take three women with PMS to screw in a lightbulb?
IT JUST DOES!!!!
How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.
How many screws does it take to construct a lesbian's bed?
None, it's all tongue and groove...
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
102, if you have some alive ones.
How many line cooks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Three. One to do it, and two to say that they did it better at the previous restaurant they were at.
You know the drill, but do you know the hammer? Hah, nailed that one.
But I also think I screwed it up.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
Stormtrooper: What should we do about the failed plan?
Palpatine: Screw it.
Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Wanna go ride a bike?
How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Must be more than 9 cause my basement is still dark.
