Scream Jokes

An autistic woman walks into a bar. "A serving of Screaming Banshee, please." she says. The bartender says "Ok, you seem to like it, unlike a retired special ed teacher that passed through a few minutes ago."

Why couldn’t Helen Keller scream when she fell off the cliff? Because she was wearing mittens.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

dear doctor

ive heard its a good sign when women scream your first name during sex but recently women have been screaming my full name. its weird, i feel like im famous. Can you tell me what this means?

Yours Truly Ray Palp

if stephen hawking was in a horror movie .... would he make his robot try and shout “aaaaaaaaah help me , i can’t move i’m too scared” ???

Why can't an orphan be in a Scream movie? It's always someone you know.

Life is better without my dad annoying me(him smacking me,screaming for something useless, limiting my screen time, and much more

I thought opening a door for a lady was good manners, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.

I kicked a ball at a kid in a wheelchair and screamed rocket league

It's not bad that my car doesn't beep when reversing.

The screams of the passers-by are enough for me.

i don’t trust anyone who doesn’t feel like screaming

So a mom went to her kid and said "If you pray to god, he will give you your sight back" so he did exactly that The next morning the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kids room and asked "whats wrong" the kid replied it didn't work" The mom said "April Fools"

you know your fucked when the speed bump screams.

You know my first name, but don’t worry about it, you’ll only be screaming my first.

Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?" The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom. Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket int the toilet."

Dear Victims.....äh Passengers, we are flying now from Ryadh to New York. Amazing Building...äh Amazing City. Theres online but 2000 there ware two Towers.....äh Restaurants. We Hijack the plane....äh Hi Jack. Jack is my Co-pilot and i said hello. Don‘t scream...History Repea..äh.. History never comes back, we are now flying back to the Airport“💀