Alicia was not a popular girl. None of the guys noticed her. Once she got a boyfriend, but then he cheated on her with Katy and said, "You're not sexy enough, Katy is much hotter."
So Alicia took a match, set herself on fire, and screamed, "THIS GIRL IS ON FIRE!"
And then she died.
Superman was bored and wanted to go out. He called all his super friends, but they were all busy. He even calls Louis, but it's her time of the month.
He flies to the liquor store and buys some beer and gets drunk. As he is flying, he sees Wonder Woman naked on top of the roof. He starts thinking, "I will fly down and have sex with her sooooo fast," BURP, "that she won't know what happened," HICKUP.
He flies to her faster than the speed of light, BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG, and flies away with a smile. He passes out and crashed into a wall.
Wonder Woman jumps up and screams, "WHAT WAS THAT?"
The Invisible Man appears, holding his butt, and he gets off on Wonder Woman and says, "I don't know, but my butt hurts real bad."
Why couldn’t Helen Keller scream when she fell off the cliff? Because she was wearing mittens.
My bf: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
My bf: Ice cream.
Me: Ice cream who?
My bf: I scream if you don't let me see that smoking hot body!
One day when I was driving around our children's school with my wife, she saw a speed bump. She told me to slow on it, and when I did, we heard a loud, long scream.
Are you a haunted house?
Cuz I am gonna be screaming when I come inside you.
An autistic woman walks into a bar. "A serving of Screaming Banshee, please," she says.
The bartender says, "Ok, you seem to like it, unlike a retired special ed teacher that passed through a few minutes ago."
[God creating the parrot] OK, HOW ABOUT A TYE-DYE CHICKEN THAT SCREAMS ACTUAL WORDS AT YOU?
There was once a kid named Timmy. His father and mother went to bed one night and didn't hear or see Timmy come with them.
They all get under the covers. Timmy, still unnoticed, looks under the covers and lets out a blood-curdling scream. "MOMMY, WATCH OUT! THERE IS A SNAKE GOING INTO YOUR BIG BLACK HAIRY BUSH!" And he proceeds to say, "DON'T WORRY MOMMY, I'LL GET IT!" And he takes his father's penis in his mouth and chomps down.
Now I want you to think what their breakfast conversation was the next morning.
Dear doctor,
I've heard it's a good sign when women scream your first name during sex, but recently women have been screaming my full name. It's weird, I feel like I'm famous. Can you tell me what this means?
Yours Truly, Ray Palp
If Stephen Hawking was in a horror movie, would he make his robot try and shout, "Aaaaaaaah! Help me, I can't move! I'm too scared!"?
When fat people sit down at a restaurant, you can hear the chair screaming.
Life is better without my dad annoying me (him smacking me, screaming for something useless, limiting my screen time, and much more).
I kicked a ball at a kid in a wheelchair and screamed rocket league
You know my first name, but don’t worry about it; you’ll only be screaming my first.
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
So a mom went to her kid and said, "If you pray to God, He will give you your sight back." So he did exactly that.
The next morning, the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kid's room and asked, "What's wrong?" The kid replied, "It didn't work!" The mom said, "April Fools!"
Why can't an orphan be in a Scream movie?
It's always someone you know.
I sat down to eat some ice cream. The next moment, I screamed!
I thought opening a door for a lady was good manners, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.
