Scientist jokes
Yo mamma so fat, scientists say she's the closest planet to Earth!
How do you execute Stephen Hawking?
The electric wheelchair.
There were 3 blonde scientists...wait that’s not the joke. The first one said “we are going to pilot the first unmanned spacecraft to land on the sun.”
The second one said “but we can’t do that - if we get within 5 feet of the sun we’ll freeze to death!”
The third blonde says “so we go at night.”
An optimist says, "The glass is half full."
A pessimist says, "The glass is half empty."
A scientist walks by and says, "You guys are both wrong. The glass is technically completely full because it is half filled with air."
Then Africa comes by and says, "Stop arguing. At least you guys have water!"
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
"Highway to Hell."
Scientists make skyscrapers and airplanes.
Religion crashes them.
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "Can I have a drink of H2O?" Then the second says, "Can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the power point/modem.
When I went to heaven, I saw Steven Hawking standing there. I asked why he isn’t in heaven yet. He said there are stairs.
What was Stephen Hawking's mother's name?
Ilean.
Have you walked into Steven Hawking's house yet?
Yeah, neither has he.
A new burger has been invented in memory of Stephen Hawking.
I doubt it will sell though, as it's 95% cabbage.
What was Stephen Hawking's name before he got his disease?
Stephen Walkins.
Where did Stephen Hawking go after he died?
FNAF Sister Location.
Have you ever walked in to Stephen Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.
How did Stephen Hawking die? Because he didn't charge his batteries.
What did Stephen Hawking's computer say when he died?
"ERROR"
Where was Stephen Hawking during the house fire?
The top of the stairs.
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and my Dad?
Isaac Newton didn’t beat me half to death with a pipe wrench.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a refrigerator?
The fridge actually runs.