Scientist

Scientist Jokes

Pin

Stephen Hawking had pins and needles and got told to walk it off.

Kidnapping

What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and the kid I kidnapped?

Isaac Newton died a virgin.

Hater

The one thing I love about Steven is he stood up for all of his haters. Just kidding!

Stephen Hawking

Why did the people think Stephen Hawking was disrespectful?

'Cause he didn't stand up for the national anthem.

Glass

An optimist says, "The glass is half full."

A pessimist says, "The glass is half empty."

A scientist walks by and says, "You guys are both wrong. The glass is technically completely full because it is half filled with air."

Then Africa comes by and says, "Stop arguing. At least you guys have water!"

Twin

There were once these two twins. One twin, no matter what happened, was always pissed off, while the other one was always happy.

This baffled scientists, so they ran an experiment on the twins to figure out what was happening. They took the angry one and left him in a room with all of the latest technology and the most expensive toys and left him overnight. When they came back, he was still grumpy. When they asked him why, he said, "None of these are actually mine, and you left me in here all night, so I'm angry!"

His explanation was reasonable, so they ran another experiment on the other kid. This time, they left him overnight in a room that was literally just filled with horse shit. When they came back to check on him the next morning, he was still smiling. When they asked him why, he said, "With all of this horse crap, there has to be a pony in here somewhere!"

Phone

Stephen Hawking tried to charge his phone and unplugged his life support.