Scientist jokes
What happened the night Stephen Hawking came home wasted?
Nothing... wife couldn’t tell.
If Stephen Hawking was in a horror movie, would he make his robot try and shout, "Aaaaaaaah! Help me, I can't move! I'm too scared!"?
What were Stephen Hawking's last words? "System failure."
What did Steven Hawking say?
Nothing.
The one thing I love about Steven is he stood up for all of his haters. Just kidding!
Why was it cold in Stephen Hawking's house?
Because he had a new window open...
Stephen Hawking is ALIVE!
How did Steven Hawking die?
He forgot his log on password.
Why did Steven Hawking not go to heaven after he died?
He could not get up the stairs?
Stephen Hawking couldn't make it to Heaven because there were stairs, so he rolled down to Hell.
What do you call someone that looks like Stephen Hawkins and is a space head? Byron Davey.
Today I explain what things are fake: serial killers, clowns, Billy, fairies, your life, God, Jesus, your mom, and all your crappy fan-fictions about being saved from your even crappier life.
I'm also gonna explain real stuff: YouTube, your dad, scientists, teachers, God, Jesus, and Billy.
Stuff on both is real and fake depending on who you are. Your life IS fake. A lot of idiots will read this.
When Steven Hawking realizes heaven is only a stairway away.
Just a joke: When Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said, "It'll get better, just walk it off!"
Stephen Hawking's best subjects were Physics and Maths. His worst was P.E.
When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a megabyte and some microchips.
There were once these two twins. One twin, no matter what happened, was always pissed off, while the other one was always happy.
This baffled scientists, so they ran an experiment on the twins to figure out what was happening. They took the angry one and left him in a room with all of the latest technology and the most expensive toys and left him overnight. When they came back, he was still grumpy. When they asked him why, he said, "None of these are actually mine, and you left me in here all night, so I'm angry!"
His explanation was reasonable, so they ran another experiment on the other kid. This time, they left him overnight in a room that was literally just filled with horse shit. When they came back to check on him the next morning, he was still smiling. When they asked him why, he said, "With all of this horse crap, there has to be a pony in here somewhere!"
Who is Stephen Hawking's wife?
The American Siri.
Stephen Hawking must have got a MacBook Pro. End of battery.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food?
Runner beans.