I tried having a three-way with two physicists, but they couldn't solve the three-body problem.
I told a chemist a joke.
No reaction.
What is a pirate's favorite element?
Argon.
I don't trust atoms.
They make up everything.
What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?
"Wait, I can explain everything!"
What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can't hear an enzyme.
Why can't atheists solve exponential equations?
Because they don't believe in higher powers.