Science jokes
Stairs.
Stephen Hawking can't stand stairs.
Why did Stephen Hawking cross the road?
Oh wait, he didn't.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because he lost Wi-Fi connection.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
Teacher: Why did the skeleton know the weather outside?
Student: 'Cause he could feel it in his bones.
Teacher: No, he read the weather report, you fucking idiot.
If Stephen Hawking is ill, does he go to the doctors or Currys PC World?
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheeles.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
His Windows update wasn't available.
How did Stephen Hawking die? Because he didn't charge his batteries.
There's a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking.
At least Stephen Hawking does something.
What type of comedy can't Steven Hawking do?
Stand-up comedy.
What was Stephen Hawking's shampoo?
Head and Shoulders.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite snack? His shoulder.
What do stomata use to fill their pools?
Chlor-ine.
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What do you say to Stephen Hawking when he dies?
"Rust in pieces!"
Yes, Stephen Hawking is alive.
YEET!
Stephen Hawking is ALIVE!
What is the difference between Sir Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?
Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin.
I tried to catch fog, but sadly, I missed.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the wall.