Science jokes
Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. It was evolution.
At least he always has a shoulder to cry on.
How do you kidnap Stephen Hawking?
Shut off his computer.
His favorite drink was his dribble.
What do you get when you throw a pebble into the ocean?
A wet pebble.
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.
Why did Stephen Hawking cross the street?
He didn’t; he never did.
What do hospitals do when they receive donor organs? They organize them.
Hey girl, are you a scientist?
Cause you made my thing into a baking soda volcano.
Yo mama so fat, she classified as a whole solar system.
A chemical store burned down, and the firefighter just stood there, but at the end, the store fire just went out by itself. But the store owner still got angry.
Store owner: Why didn't you take out the fire?
Firefighter: Yeah, but it went out by itself.
Store owner: But still, why?
Firefighter: Your chemical store sells H20.
Store owner: Oh, I get it now!
God took away Stephen Hawking's privileges.
The water in the shower evaporates before it reaches you.
What is Stephen Hawking's best side?
The left.
I lost my job at a research facility. The people were too chill for me.
If Stephen Hawking was walking, they would have a hawk problem.
What do Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie have in common?
Why was Stephen Hawking arrested? The police used computer GPS.
Did you hear Stephen Hawking has a new book out?
It's about time!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
It's me. I can't get in because Stephen Hawking is in the way.