School

School Jokes

Bus

So, a retarded kid's mom drops her kid off at school and says, "You better stop the bus today, because I’m not picking you up." So he agrees, and he arrives at the bus stop and says, "Stop!" (in a retarded voice). The bus goes straight past him. The next day, the mom says the same thing, and the kid goes to the bus stop and says, "Stop!" (in a retarded voice). The bus goes straight past him. The third day, his mom says, "I don’t care if I have to jump out in the middle of the road, you better stop that bus!" So the kid goes to the bus stop and jumps out in the middle of the road and says, "Stop!" The bus driver runs over him. A nearby lady stops the bus and says, "Why’d you run that poor kid over?" and he responds, "'Cause he was making fun of me" (in a retarded voice).

  • 4
  • Shooter

    There will be no school shooter joke today in honor of the 10 people killed in the Colorado grocery store shooting. R.I.P.

    Kahoot

    What does a bullied kid say during a game of Kahoot?

    "I'd like to Kahoot up this school."

    Number

    Why is 3 such a helpful number? Because 3 helped out on a science project 4 5!

    Bacon

    One morning, Peppy and George came downstairs for breakfast, but they got a plate of juicy bacon. Their dad had recently gone missing, so they ate it quite sadly.

    The next morning, they went to school and asked their teacher, "What is bacon made out of?" The teacher replied, "Pigs, why?" Peppa and George looked horrified.

    Kid

    It doesn’t make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises.

    I mean, they aren’t in wheelchairs, so I don’t know why they do it.

  • 4
  • Son

    Little Johnny's mom got a call from school saying to come over. As she does, she is met by the principal. They go into his office and the principal says, "Your son is going to be suspended for a week for blowing clouds in the bathroom." The mother responds, "He is fifteen, how is he blowing clouds already? Bring him in here." A boy walks in, and Johnny's mother says, "This isn't my son, bring him in here, I would like a word with him." The principal replies, "Ma'am, this is Clouds." The mother faints.

    Penny

    Teacher: Okay class, look at the person to the right of you and describe them with one word.

    Me: *looks to the right of me and sees the pick-me girl* "Penny."

    Teacher: *shocked* How is she a penny?

    Me: 'Cause she's two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants. Not to mention worth practically nothing.

    Kid

    School would be a lot different if the quiet kid had an RPG.

    Kid

    When you get suspended from school for giving the deaf kid AirPods for his birthday.

    Orphanage

    School Bully: How's your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don't have any!

    Me: How's your parents? Oh wait, you don't have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage*

    Accident

    I took my son to a driver's school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident."

    (I gotta go pay him out of jail!)

    Class

    I asked my class what comes before 47. Everyone said 46, except for the quiet kid who said, "AK."

    Pedophile

    How do people grade pedophiles?

    1st grade to 8th grade.

    (I know it's orphan jokes but still)

    Orphan

    Even if orphans fail their exams, I'm sure their parents wouldn't...

    Oh wait...

    Shooting

    Teachers: Whenever there’s a school shooting, hide under the desk.

    Students: Hiding under desk.

    Shooter: Well, no one’s in here!

    Name

    One of my students asks, "Can I have a bookmark?"

    A year of school and they still don't know my name is Danny.