School jokes
Teacher: "Okay, so how are you going?"
Student: "I'm not going."
Teacher: "Oh, so you're a wheelchair person?"
"Hippity hoppity, the school shooter spotted me."
Why can't the skeleton go to the prom?
Because he had no-BODY to go with!
One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks, “What’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said, “It’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks, “Daddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says, “It’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad, “What does sexy mean?” And the dad says, “Your mother, of course,” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says, “You’re so so sexy!”
A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?” The dad replies, “Why do you want to know, son?” “Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!”
I love teaching students
how to make them harm themselves.
Why was the American kid late to school?
Because he was too busy putting on his bulletproof vest.
What did the fish get on his math test?
A sea plus.
What is the difference between a human and a human rights act and a walk home and walk walk home from home and walk walk home and a wheelchair to wheelchair and wheelchair to wheelchair for wheelchair home night time to a home was fun at home night was the day I had dinner is it fun for me I was going to be a walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home night time?
What's a witch's favorite subject?
So there was a school shooting in Florida. Why didn't the shooter just go to Disney?.......sorry, I just work there and I'm trying to get people to come on down.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other side.
Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free?
Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says "leave motherf*cker".
Why is the blind kid popular?
He can't see the middle fingers.
What did the depressed kid do in P.E.? They played with the jump rope, but they used it the wrong way.
What’s the difference between 69 and High School?
In 69 you usually only kiss one c*nt and look at one a**hole.
School reminds me of a penis. It's long and hard unless you're Asian.
An ugly, poor teenage girl found a genie lamp in her backyard. The genie said, "I will grant you 3 wishes, but under 1 condition."
"What is it?" she asked.
"After I grant your final wish, you have to have sex with me," the genie replied.
"Okay, for my 1st wish, I wish to be the prettiest girl at my school," the genie snapped his fingers and made her pretty.
"For my 2nd wish, I wish for my family to be rich," the genie snapped his fingers and told her her family is now the richest in town.
"And your final wish?" the genie asked.
"I wish I had a sabertoothed vagina."
What does my uncle call a school?
A strip club.