School jokes

There's an outbreak of foot and mouth disease, it can affect pigs and cows.

I hope my teacher will be ok.

Why are there 30 bullets in one clip?

Because that's the average classroom size.

A priest sees a man about to commit suicide. The man says, "I have nothing to live for here. I will die, go to Heaven, and get 72 virgins." Then the priest says, "No need for this. I will take you to the local elementary school."

I got in trouble in school today. The teacher said, "I'm gonna call your parents!"

I said, "Let me know when you find them." <3

When you fail art school.

I copied my friend's work. It's not like the teacher can tell my parents.

My teacher asked me what my favorite number was yesterday, and I said 2977. I chose 91 for my football jersey number and Sharpied a 1 after the other 1, and my teacher Mr. Jackson's dad died in 9/11, and when he was talking about it Friday the 9th, I threw a paper airplane at him and got suspended for 3 days starting Monday.

True story: my math teacher Mr. Ueberoth accidentally marked a Kahoot as 100 points in Google Classroom instead of 10. If he doesn't find out, the grades will be more hyperinflated than Zimbabwe's economy.

Today, I had an exam in school. When I was done, I raised my hand and yelled, “Pisstiano Penaldo!”

My teacher smiled and took my paper. She knew I was finished.

The Good Old Days.

You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.

My mom said you failed school. I said, "Don't be surprised, I'm a retard, Mom."

What do teachers eat? They eat square stuff.

Spend all night in a dark humor webpage.

Go to an orphanage today and read it to them.

And I'm sure if you go to a school for disabled children, they should understand it.

Yesterday on the school bus my friend in front of me said she was 41% Irish and 15% Mexican.

Then my friend sitting next to me said, “Wow, almost half leprechaun!”

Then I said, “Yeah, and 15 percent wall climber!”

What's the cool thing about bringing a pack of gum or a shotgun to school?

When you pull one out everybody wants to be your friend. :)

What do the Twin Towers and school have in common?

People jumped off a building to escape it.

One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."

His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."

Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"

So I became a teacher in a school for disabled children.

A kid wanted to ask me a question, so I told him to stand while he address me. 💀

I bet Kobe failed flying school.

What's the only type of abortion Republicans will never do anything to prevent?

A school shooting.