School jokes
Why did the teacher get arrested?
He gave the orphan homework!
Teachers at a school shooting be like: damn it. That's the third one this week and it's only Monday.
A: Why did the orphan not come to school today?
B: Because today we had a parent meetup.
Whoever invented school, I hope you burn in hell.
A teacher asked her class “what is sex?”
Little Johnny got up and said: “Sex is a *temptation* Caused by a *sensation* Where the boy sticks his *location* Into a girls *destination* To increase the *population* Of the next *generation* Did you get my *explanation*? Or do you need a *demonstration*?”
The teacher faints.
Kid: "THERE'S A SHOOTER IN THE BUILDING!"
Shooter: "Oops."
Why did the school go remote?
Because the teachers wanted to play with remotes!
Two kids were beating up a kid in an alley, so I stepped in to help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
I'm in school lol.
I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised when I saw on the news that there was a school shooting in my shooting range. I don't know who snitched...
Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?
Parent Signature: _______
Why did the 18-year-old girl need a ladder to go to school?
Because it was High School.
Teacher: "Okay, so how are you going?"
Student: "I'm not going."
Teacher: "Oh, so you're a wheelchair person?"
There are three people in a plane that is about to crash: Trump, Obama, and a nine-year-old girl, but only two parachutes. Obama says, "Oh my, I need one. I need to protect my family," so he jumps off! Trump says, "Oh, I am the smartest man in the world. I must take it," so he jumps off. The nine-year-old girl says, "Welp, I guess he took my school backpack" :) so she leaves the plane! What a good ending.
RICK: GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT OH GUESS WHAT MOTHERFUCKER OR IMMA SAY IT!!!!!!
Richard: What????
Rick: So before Donald Trump's impeachment, he said, "The Coronavirus will end on March 32nd 2021."
Richard: Your from planet Earth where there's a March 32nd. Enjoy it, *stupid dumb fuck brother*.
Rick: Oh I will.
*It was the day March 21st*
*9 Days later*
*March 31st*
Rick: oh I cant wait until tomorrow!!!!!!!!!! Ooh im so excited im gonna give my friends a big ole bro hug and hand shake i miss the muhfuckin dudes man
*one day later*
*He got his school uniform waiting for the bus not seeing it*
Rick:....... wai......Huh!?!?...... hol....up
BITCH IM AND IDIOT THERE IS NO MOTHERFUCKING MARCH 32ND THIS IS THE MOTHERFUCKING 1ST OF APRIL TRUMP DUMBASS
*Richard*
*oh he's the dumbass*
What did you call a school that got blown up?
Mom: Son, did you go to school?
Son: What if I said yes?
Mom: You are in school! *slap*
Son: Mom, I am moving out and I am moving in with my girlfriend.
Mom: You are with...? Please don't move out =(
Son: Mom, stop! So what if I am moving out? I am moving into my girlfriend's home. It's only for school.
Mom: Well, you are kicked out of my home!
Son: Good.
Mom: I am sad now. Why did he move out?
If you like it, please commit down.
Mom: Son, get up for school.
Son: I AM UP *holds up books and says I'm up* IM UP MOM!
Mom: Hey hun, need some money for lunch at school?
Son: No, I got 1k already.
Mom: Wait, what, how?
Son: Mom's wallet is magic.
Why did the boy study for his math test in a tree?
'Cause he wanted higher grades.
When the autistic kid brings a gun to school and thinks it’s a dart gun.