School jokes
Why did the fastest cat get kicked out of school?
He was a cheetah.
Toto is at school and asks if he can go to the bathroom. The teacher says no.
Then, she asks Toto, “Where is the biggest river in the world?”
“Under my bench,” he replies.
So, I was in school, and there was a number saying "696969," so I said to my mother, "What does it mean?" She said, "Your fucking dad and I!"
The depressed kid getting bullied.
The bully: "You are useless."
The depressed kid: "I know."
Teacher: Everyone, tomorrow is bring your mom to school day.
Me: Sorry but my mom's not gonna make it.
Teacher: Why?
Me: I'm an orphan, bitch.
Teacher: This assignment is big.
Student (male): I have something that's big.
Teacher: Yeah, your forehead.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other side.
Why did the teacher get arrested?
He gave the orphan homework!
Teachers at a school shooting be like: damn it. That's the third one this week and it's only Monday.
A: Why did the orphan not come to school today?
B: Because today we had a parent meetup.
Whoever invented school, I hope you burn in hell.
A teacher asked her class “what is sex?”
Little Johnny got up and said: “Sex is a *temptation* Caused by a *sensation* Where the boy sticks his *location* Into a girls *destination* To increase the *population* Of the next *generation* Did you get my *explanation*? Or do you need a *demonstration*?”
The teacher faints.
Kid: "THERE'S A SHOOTER IN THE BUILDING!"
Shooter: "Oops."
Why did the school go remote?
Because the teachers wanted to play with remotes!
Two kids were beating up a kid in an alley, so I stepped in to help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
I'm in school lol.
I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised when I saw on the news that there was a school shooting in my shooting range. I don't know who snitched...
Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?
Parent Signature: _______
Why did the 18-year-old girl need a ladder to go to school?
Because it was High School.
Teacher: "Okay, so how are you going?"
Student: "I'm not going."
Teacher: "Oh, so you're a wheelchair person?"
There are three people in a plane that is about to crash: Trump, Obama, and a nine-year-old girl, but only two parachutes. Obama says, "Oh my, I need one. I need to protect my family," so he jumps off! Trump says, "Oh, I am the smartest man in the world. I must take it," so he jumps off. The nine-year-old girl says, "Welp, I guess he took my school backpack" :) so she leaves the plane! What a good ending.