Said Jokes

The other day my wife said "take me someplace I have never been before, I said why don't you try the kitchen! "

Why couldn't the skeleton go to the prom, because he had no BODY to go with.... i could have said a skeleTON more jokes.. but i think that might brake your funny bone

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

A man walks over to a little boy and asks "Wanna see my tattoo of a bunny?" the little boy replies with "Yes please i love bunnies" The man proceeds to pull his pants down and said can you see it yet?" The little boy curious says "no where is it?" The man says "dig a little deeper he runs into the whole when he gets scared!"

A young teen was walking home from school and having a nice day.

She gets home eats, showers, and heads to her room. The young teen hears her mother say something, not sure what she said the girl replies with "ok".

The young teen was gonna head to bed wondering when her mom was gonna come in and say goodnight she lays in bed, but then she hears her mom's voice say "Hunny I'm home", she doesn't bother to say ok.

Later when she decides to sleep she gets a message from her mom saying to unlock the door that she lost her keys. :)

-Dark_Humor

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There once was 3 men on an airplane and one bit into an apple and said this is disgusting and threw it out the window the 2nd man bit into a banana and said this is rotten and he threw it out the window the 3rd man bit into a bomb and screamed " ALL MY TEETH FELL OUT" and he threw it out the window. Meanwhile, on the ground, a police officer was walking and he saw a kid crying and he went up to him and asked him why he was crying he replied an apple came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head! the police officer said that is weird and kept on walking. Then he saw another kid crying and the police officer asked why are you crying and he answered a banana came flying out of the sky and hit he on the head the officer said this has been a strange day. Then he says a kid laughing and he asked why he was laughing and he said while he was laughing my dad farted and the house blew up.

"Don't forget you are what you eat," said one person. "Then I should eat a skinny person." said the other.

My friend told me an emo joke once and I said ̈emo jokes aren ́t funny, cut it out ̈

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I recently saw a pun contest in NYC. The owners said there was a maximum of 10 puns that I could submit. I wrote 10 puns and submitted all of them in hopes that at least one would win - however, no pun in ten did.

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There were 3 guys in detetenion called zip willy pee and they were all being naughty the teacher came in and said zip down willy out pee in the corner

Two kids were sitting at restaurant one said could I please have some water I am feeling a little HORSE. The other said Animal Puns? TOUCAN play at that game.

My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult she had kids. When they were old enough she told them you could be whatever you want...